Happy New Year ya’ll – it is 2025! That time of year when people are looking to set goals, resolutions, etc. I typically connect with a word or phrase for the year…I’m still settling in on the perfect word for me. I created a board with some things I’d like to accomplish and a slew of quotes that spoke to me. This one really stood out…
Now read it one more time (especially if you just skimmed through it – ya, I know how we all can be) – READ IT! What resonates with you? For me, nothing changes if nothing changes. And I love the last line ‘…leveling up something you do every single day’. I pinned this to a board in my room for a reason. I WANT to eat healthier and exercise regularly…I just need reminders to do so. I need to remind myself that I FEEL better after a walk or a workout and I FEEL better if I eat better (fuel my body properly).
I am choosing to eat more whole foods and less processed. I heard about the health benefits of adding kiwi and pomegranate seeds to my diet, those were an easy add. Let’s be honest, I will never 100% cut Reese’s Peanut Butter cups out of my life, but I just won’t have them as often. They are clearly not going anywhere. I’ve been roasting vegetables and I also made my own Elderberry syrup. I won’t post the recipe I used, as I wasn’t a huge fan, but you can google recipes and find one that you like. The process of squishing the berries is a bit tedious, but the health benefits are GREAT! It’s worth it – YOU ARE WORTH IT!
I got a bread maker for Christmas and finally made my first loaf. Ummm…where has this been all my life. I’ve only made two loaves of the basic French bread, and it is delicious. 4 ingredients, smells amazing and tastes so fresh and yummy! I’m a fan and so are the kids! I made some ‘bussin’ (as my daughter would say – that means really good, by the way) avocado toast with this fresh bread. My secret is a little balsamic glaze on the top – trust me!
So here we are with a whole new year. Are you ready to start planning your meals yet? I just posted my latest menu and I’m ready to commit to sticking to my plan. I’m also adopting more of a mindset of cooking what I have, instead of running to the store all the time (which I definitely have a tenancy to do – I’m weird, I like the grocery store). I’m going to cook with ingredients I have on hand. It’s a bit of a challenge but…Challenge Accepted!
I almost forgot, I made these amazing Crispy Bang Bang Salmon Bowls. These are a MUST make, all the way down to the cucumber salad. Please put this on your menu this week. Click HERE for the recipe. Let me know what you think, I promise you won’t be disappointed. I already want to make it again!
You can now purchase my meal planning pads right HERE – I’m so excited to share these with you! Set yourself a mantra for the week and plan out your meals. This will save you time and the headache of others in your house asking ‘What’s for Dinner’.
Lastly, I am no longer selling Tastefully Simple and/or Beachbody (Bodi) products. It’s not an interesting story, so I will leave it at that. I still use and love both products, but I’m choosing to focus my efforts in other area – this blog being one of them. I want to be a positive influence in your life and shed light on some tough topics…and I want to keep writing and creating in the kitchen.
Remember…2025 won’t be much different unless we are much different. I love this reminder! Let’s work together to be the best versions of ourselves and let’s put good and nutritious fuel in our bodies. Don’t forget to buy yourself flowers – you deserve to look at beautiful flowers when you wake up in the morning. Cheers to a magical start to the year.
Yep, the strong one completely crumbled. Remember when I said healing isn’t linear, well, I’m living proof of that. So, let me preface this post by saying…please read until the end. I debated on posting this multiple times, but again, the purpose of this blog is to be real, raw and honest with the hopes of helping others not feel alone. Feeling alone is a real crappy feeling…and I just had that awful alone feeling again, its been a while.
I’m not looking for sympathy or I’m sorry. Please don’t feel bad for me. I’m blessed and grateful…and I’m human. I felt awful just a handful of days ago and looking back at the things I wrote and said, I don’t recognize that person. You know when you say to someone, ‘I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine how you feel’. There is so much truth to that, you truly don’t know what something feels like until you experience it. I felt gut punched on Christmas Day and I felt so much hurt not only for myself but for others. Then I started going down a rabbit hole of sadness. I say that I don’t have depression, but that has to have been what that was. I was sad for my situation and then I started feeling guilty for feeling sad and mad at myself for not having more empathy for those that have lost loved ones, those that are spending Christmas alone, those that can’t afford the Christmas they want…the list goes on, and so did my tears. I was in deep.
So, here goes…a few days leading up to Christmas my daughter moved home (happy Mom heart) and we had a fun day together. Presents were wrapped, baking was done and all was good. I knew my ex was coming into town and kept telling myself I was fine. The last thing I wanted was to run into him in my small town. I still have quite a bit of anger toward that man. I’m a work in progress, and working on releasing that (Yes, I’m making a therapy appointment). So, flash forward to Christmas Eve and my kids, my daughter’s boyfriend and I all headed to my brothers for a beautiful celebration. Surrounded by so much family, friends, love…and food. Gosh, the food was amazing. It was truly a great night (although I was really bummed my Mom, Dad and boyfriend weren’t there).
My niece really outdid herself with this beautiful spread
The kids and I get home and we decided to open presents at midnight on Christmas Eve. I thought, what a fun new tradition. We played games, laughed and made it to about 11:45 and opened our presents. My heart was so full. We woke up (very early – it’s payback time) to be with my cousin and his sweet family on Christmas morning. So fun to be around little ones on Christmas – makes it a little more magical. When we all got back home, we were pooped and all took naps. My kids were heading to celebrate with their Dad and his family in the afternoon (where I have celebrated every Christmas for the last 23 years). I literally thought I was fine and as soon as the door shut, I burst into tears. Like ugly, uncontrollable tears. It was kind of like being on a super high and knocked down to a super low, like the rug being pulled out from under you.
I proceeded to stay in bed from 1 PM (when they left) until the evening, when I got out of bed to say Hi when they got home, made a little plate of food and went right back to bed. I was drowning in my own sorrows. I wasn’t ‘fine’. I wouldn’t respond to text messages, I was my own worst enemy. I woke up the next morning and took Christmas down immediately (pretty sure that was the first time ever I took Christmas down so early). I couldn’t stop crying, I was a mess. Every time I thought it was my turn to hang out with my kids, they were off to hang out with him. Whether this was perception or reality, it was my reality and it was cutting me deep.
I was my own worst enemy.
I cried myself to sleep AGAIN and woke up in the morning and thought that I needed to do something for me and stop waiting for others to ask me to do something. I showered, packed a lunch (I made the yummiest sandwich) and just started driving. I was first led to the airport and sat in the waiting area and ate part of my sandwich in the car. Still tears at any given moment. I thought, what could I do that is completely mindless where I don’t think about anything. My first thought was honey walnut prawns at Cache Creek Casino. I hadn’t been there in over 10 years. The rain started to clear and the sky was beautiful by the time I got there. I chatted with the little old ladies at the machines, won some money (I was on a lucky streak) and got my fried rice and shrimp.
When I got home, I was still in a bit of a funk. I chatted with my boyfriend (so grateful for him) and decided to pack and go see him the next morning. I did exactly that. I texted my kids that I was leaving and wasn’t sure when I was coming back (that I have since apologized for profusely – what a terrible text). No excuses, but I’ve read that text multiple times and truly don’t recognize that person. I was ready to talk and had a great chat with my boyfriend and the veil started to lift. I was being dished perspective left and right over those last handful of days. I was choosing to drown in my tears. What was I so upset about?
I kept asking myself – why does the person that treated me so poorly get all the attention? Why does everything get dropped when he comes to town? Why does everyone just forget about what he’s done to me? It’s MY holiday week too and I don’t get to hang with my kids. In retrospect, it doesn’t matter what HE gets, or how others choose to treat him, it’s not about HIM…its about my kids. I want the world for my kids and I want them to be happy, I was making it worse.
Here is where my gratitude lies, I was able to pull myself out. I know that is NOT easy for some and you aren’t alone. I have a saying that you can have a bad day or two, you just can’t stay there. Perhaps write down the things that can help pull you out, then you can refer to it when you are feeling down again. It will happen, not all days are good days. It’s what we do with those bad days that gives us more tools…more power. Please, PLEASE, if you are struggling, as now I know firsthand how hard the holidays especially can be – reach out to someone…anyone! Write about it, voice clip about it (this is powerful to hear the tone in your voice later), please do what works for you but remember YOU need to do SOMETHING. No one can pull you out but YOU!
Lastly, perspective! You are here, you woke up this morning – that is reason enough to keep pushing and to keep fighting for the life you want. Ironically, on Christmas morning, we were driving and the sky on one side was completely dreary and grey and the picture below is what the other side of the sky looked like. SO gorgeous. It’s all in the way you look at things, what lens do you want to see things? I was CHOOSING the grey, when there was so much beauty right in front of me – SO much to be grateful for. We need to CHOOSE BEAUTY!
A few things…again, please reach out to someone if you are feeling alone and in a dark space. My heart goes out to those of you that struggle during the holidays, you aren’t alone. I LOVED looking at all of the pictures of my family and friends celebrating, please don’t feel bad for having a beautiful holiday…however, I ask that you move forward with empathy toward others – perspective. I will be reaching out to others more myself. A reminder that you can have a bad day, please don’t stay there. AND, who cares how other people treat someone that has wronged you…that’s their story, not yours. Permission to buy yourself flowers and permission to do something JUST FOR YOU – YOU MATTER! By the way, this book I’m reading ‘The Secret to Love, Health, and Money’ is a powerful one. Excited to finish and move on to ‘Let Them’ by Mel Robbins. 2025 is going to be amazing – claim it! Much love!
As I’ve said previously, I’d like to think that I’m a pretty good cook…but baking is another story. So, if you are like me, you are in luck. My holiday baking doesn’t get much easier AND everyone loves these tasty treats. I also may need to re-type my recipes one day. They sure have plenty of butter, oil and who knows what else spilled all over them. I guess that gives them character…they are tried and true!
I switch up my rice crispy treats from time to time. The salted caramel are ridiculous, but the log is amazing too. The Scooby Snacks, some people refer to as haystacks…not us, they will always be Scooby Snacks to us. I’ve had various neighbors with nut allergies, so I typically make a batch of rocky road without nuts and multiple other batches with nuts. It’s ridiculous how easy these are (thank you Betty Crocker). The lemon cookies should be called cloud cookies. They are light and delicious. You can use any variation of cake mix to change up the flavor. These are great to add with the nut free Rocky Road for those with nut allergies!
I know not everyone loves time in the kitchen as much as I do. I am SO looking forward to my daughter coming home. She is officially a college graduate and I couldn’t be more proud…I’m sure I will say this multiple times leading up to her walking in May. What an accomplishment! We will touch a little deeper on that later, but for now…Baking! I’m waiting for her arrival to do our Christmas baking together. My baking has changed through the years, but I’ve made Scooby Snacks with my kids in the kitchen since they were tiny. I wanted things they could help with and I don’t think I will ever re-write that recipe…I mean, look at…it LOOKS 20 years old!
I couldn’t resist and my apologies to my kids…but THIS is how long they have been in the kitchen with me. Clearly my son loved his powdered sugar…although I think Scooby Snacks will forever be his favorite. If you look in the deep dark depths of the frig during Christmas, I’m sure you will find some hidden just for him. This sweet picture of my girl is at one of her Grandma’s. At that age, you could always find her in a princess nightgown and princess heels…and always a contagious smile on her face willing to help in the kitchen. I love these memories!
Happy holiday season to you and your family and Happy Baking! Should you have a recipe that is a favorite of yours, please send it to me, as I LOVE new recipes. Is there a story behind it…even better! Share in the comments or shoot me a message. Don’t forget to buy yourself some flowers – you deserve it!
First of all, I realize that my last blog could have been triggering for some. Please know that I do NOT take healing lightly. Healing looks different for everyone and I am 100% not here to judge. I’m not telling anyone to ‘just get over it’. Childhood traumas, present obstacles, abusive relationships…all of it, these are NOT light topics and not something you can heal from overnight. My point I was trying to make is to please take the steps to heal from those things so they don’t become a built-in excuse for you to not live your best life. You are the only one that can heal YOU…and YOU owe that to yourself! I’m not saying it’s an easy road either, but DO THE WORK – it’s worth it! Perhaps I didn’t express that properly in my previous post, but I wanted to make sure to get my point across. I would like to help you in your healing journey, not hinder it!
You are the only one that can heal YOU…and YOU owe that to yourself!
Which brings me to my thoughts for today…and how ironic – OVERTHINKING! After I posted that last blog, I felt like I came across harsh. I mean, I know my intentions and they are always from a good place, as I would love to help heal everyone everywhere, but I didn’t want people to think I was being insensitive. What a wild hamster wheel. I feel like I overthink darn near everything. Anyone else feel this?
A great example of my lovely overthinking mind is a good friend of mine and I ran into each other one night and we talk darn near every day, multiple times a day. I didn’t hear from her the next morning, as I normally would and I instantly started replaying our previous interaction (that was literally minutes). Did I do something to upset her? Was she mad at me? Long story longer…as the day went on, she thought the exact same thing. Seriously, what is wrong with us as humans? Can we all please make a vow to just BE and STOP overthinking EVERYTHING! I could have simply said – did I do something? Are you upset with me? Nope, instead I stewed over it, stared at my phone and made up all of these silly conclusions.
This quote is so spot on! Overthinking, future tripping, guessing an outcome…whatever you want to call it, it all turns into anxiety. We get worked up over a hypothetical. What a vicious circle. Why do we do this to ourselves? It’s so self-inflicted. Why not DO YOU with the best of intentions and confidence and stop there. We live in this crazy immediate world and oh dear, if someone doesn’t respond to us within a few minutes, a few hours or good Lord, wait for it…an entire DAY, we think the absolute worst. Let’s just make a promise to each other. Stop making trouble for yourself. It will eat you up inside, please take my word for it. Have a question to ask someone, just rip off the band-aid and do it. Wondering why someone didn’t call you back, call them. Can we find strength in numbers and do this together. Catch yourself while you are creating a scenario in your head and stop yourself. Instead of thinking the worst case scenario…
What if you FLY?
I’ve already been drafting my next post, as it is a COOK topic and it’s baking season. I love to cook and am pretty good at it, baking…let’s just say, I do my best. I’m going to share what I bake every year. All of my recipes are super easy and have become favorites of so many. Can’t wait to share with you!
Have a magical weekend, don’t forget to buy yourself flowers (or hint to someone that you’d really enjoy some flowers) and go easy on yourself. This can be a crazy emotional time of year too. Lean into what you are grateful for and surround yourself with love and support!
I am getting constant validation that THIS IS SO RIGHT. Creating this safe place, talking about our journeys, our successes, our failures…it’s truly beautiful and so dang inspiring. I have so many conversations with friends, family and even strangers and there is such a common theme that I feel I need to keep repeating…LOVE YOURSELF…ALL OF YOU! Even the messy stuff, even your past or possibly your present that may be tough.
Love yourself enough to take your power back! You can’t continue to blame others for the way they treated you or for your crappy childhood or for things that didn’t turn out the way you wanted. Yes, I’m talking to myself too. If you are blaming someone else for treating you crappy, take a look in the mirror. WHY are YOU allowing them to do this? Why do you allow anyone to have that kind of power over you? Did someone wrong you? That is their cross to bear, not yours. Have you had a rough upbringing? You were a child, please don’t blame yourself and don’t repeat the behavior. Please envision that person or child you were and give them some extra love. It all circles back to LOVE. Break your cycle, you are in the drivers seat. No more blaming your past or circumstances – change your future. You deserve to be the absolute best version of yourself!
Thank you to my beautiful friend for sharing this with me. This blog isn’t just for women…please use her/him interchangeably. Let’s crush 2025 together!
At the end of the day (and even when you wake up) PLEASE, look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself what a badass you are! Tell yourself how very proud you are of yourself for pushing through barriers and pushing forward…and believe it! I was talking to some friends and had the realization that I’ve been through things (and so have most of you) that would break others. PLEASE DON’T GIVE UP ON YOU! You have a purpose in this life, go find it. Go on a quest for inner peace. The grace and forgiveness that you give to others – permission to give yourself that same gift. YOU ARE A GIFT!
Ahhh, that quote. Read it over and over until it sinks in. Shift your mindset, and watch your life change. Let’s continue to heal together. Thank YOU for sharing your thoughts and journeys with me – I am SO incredibly inspired! I am working hard to get my merchandise up and my menu posted today. Life is as beautiful as YOU make it guys – go have a beautiful week. Permission to buy yourself flowers!
Thank you to my boyfriend for the beautiful flowers!
Two new recommendations…Elton John radio is SO good. Hall & Oates, John Lennon, Journey – just take my word for it. I also cracked open a new book (I added it to ‘Currently Reading’). I needed a change from those Housemaid books, although very good, I needed something good for my soul. We started reading excerpts on our drive to Oregon last week and wow – powerful stuff. Be careful how you talk to the universe.
My Aunt started a tradition years ago to have a crab feast the night before Thanksgiving…because why not stuff ourselves multiple days in a row? I’ve carried that tradition on, even when we couldn’t all be together. This year was extra special, as my daughter was home from school and my boyfriend was able to join us too. Over the years, I’ve grabbed whatever I can get my hands on at Costco, for the seafood. The lobster is always delicious and I typically love the King crab legs, but they just had clusters this year. I’m not complaining, they were just a little more work, although the flavor still very good. This was our pre-Thanksgiving seafood feast…
For Thanksgiving, my responsibility was to bring the Mississippi Mud. This is always a crowd pleaser!
Thanksgiving is over and now it’s time to prepare for the holidays. I wanted to take this time to officially introduce you to Tastefully Simple. As you come into the holiday season, Tastefully Simple is not only great for you to use on a daily basis to save you time with delicious quality meals, but we also have great gifts. From homemade gifts (give the gift of baked beer bread) to kits or seasonings. Tastefully Simple is a great solution.
Our meal kits (pictured above) take the guess work out of meal planning. These come with recipes to make the meals, seasonings and sauces…and plenty left over for other meals. Below are some of my top picks, our Dips to Dinner is one of my favorite gifts to give. You get 10 seasoning samplers to either make a dip or a flavorful dinner. Our One Pan and One Pot kits are perfect to have on hand when you just don’t know what to make for dinner.
Who doesn’t love to have some bread or a little something sweet? We have plenty of variety. If you haven’t tried our beer bread, you are missing out. If you have been the lucky recipient of my beer bread, my secret is out. Just add your favorite beer and butter…sometimes I add some of our bacon bacon seasoning and cheddar cheese to kick it up a notch. You can’t go wrong with any of our breads, cakes or cookie mixes!
Lastly, here are some of our essential seasonings. The days of having jars of marinara sauce and taco seasoning packets are over. I always have our seasonings on hand, as they pack a punch with flavor. All of our products are so versatile, you can go to my website and type in a product and click on recipe and you have a slew of different ways to use our products (check out different ways to use our pumpkin spice cheese ball mix below). It’s tough for me to pick a favorite seasoning…I’d say my top 3 are onion onion, garlic garlic and bacon bacon. Our products are exactly that – full of flavor and very simple!
So very thankful for your support in this little journey of mine. I’m thankful for my wild roller coaster of a life, as it has made me the strong woman I am today. I’m thankful for my family and friends for being who they are. Should you feel compelled to support my small business, check out my Tastefully Simple site. I also have some great Heal Cook Love merchandise that I cannot wait to share with you VERY soon – stay tuned and subscribe to my blog so you can be in the know.
As I was typing this blog, my boyfriend and I decided to take a quick post-Thanksgiving trip to visit his family. We did a 48-hour trip to Oregon and it was amazing. Sunsets are just so stunning, as no two are the same. I took this photo from the car. I am just so thankful for this crazy beautiful life I’m blessed to live…and where ever you are in your life, even if you have to dig a little deeper, please count your blessings. You are on this earth for a reason and I’m happy you are here! Enjoy this time of year, go easy on yourself and simplify things a bit. Don’t forget to buy yourself flowers!
Why did I even create this blog? Well, I realized a year and a half later, I am still healing…shoot, make that 10-20 years later. We are constantly evolving and changing, meeting new people and removing people from our lives. By the way, it’s OK to remove people from your life that do not contribute to your happiness or well-being. To me, it is important to always be on a healing journey. You never know how your words or actions may affect someone else and who may be watching. I encourage you to check on your family and friends. The majority of people are not ‘fine’. People need people. People need to feel loved and that they have a place in this world. Hence, the birth of my blog. In sharing my experiences and perspective, perhaps it will help in someone else’s healing journey…and it sure is helping with my own.
I went to dinner with a few of my girlfriends this week and this was my fortune – coincidence, I think not!
Through my journey, I’ve realized what an over compensator I am. Previously, if someone didn’t like me, I felt it was my mission to win them over. If I wasn’t feeling loved by someone, I would try to love a little harder. I think you get the idea. Please stop doing this. Stop seeking validation in others. As I write this, I too continue to make a concentrated effort not to go down this path. YOU ARE ENOUGH! If you aren’t happy with YOU, then change for YOU and no one else. I do know when you have traumatic experiences in your life that little things could trigger you and set your mind back to those traumatic memories. Dive in and find the tools to help soften that blow of those triggers and be able to pull yourself back into a good space. I’ve probably already said this before, as it is a motto I try to live by – you can have a bad day or two, but do not stay there!
You are enough!
Please have some empathy for those around you. Healing is not linear and is definitely not one size fits all. It’s so incredible to me, the more people I connect with, the more I’ve become aware of the fact that we, as humans, carry a tremendous amount on our shoulders. I told a friend the other day that we have been through things that would break most people. Perhaps you don’t give yourself enough credit for what you have survived. Permission to give yourself a pat on the back – you are HERE and the world is grateful to have you!
As we approach Thanksgiving this week, be mindful that the holidays can be especially tough for some and trigger some unwanted memories. I would love to help to try to assist you in flipping that script. Don’t dwell on the past, if those memories no longer serve you, start a new tradition, make a new memory and make the best of what you have. To those of you that don’t know what it’s like to experience loss or trauma in your life, please know that when you drive down the street or walk through a crowded mall…the majority of people in your presence are dealing with something heavy either presently or in their past. I’m not giving excuses to those that have gone through insurmountable things to act in an unkind manner, I’m just saying that we should go through life a little lighter. Spread a little more love, be more giving to those around you and have a little grace (yourself included).
Again, why did I set out to create this blog? I wanted to raise awareness that it’s OK to not be OK. I want to open the conversation that we all need help in some sort of way. One day, I hope that my words can help pave a path for someone else to live a healthier and stronger life. Please don’t judge people that are in a situation that you think they should remove themselves from. Gaslighting is real. Feeling like you are stuck and alone is real. I lived that life. Listen to people and be there for them, with boundaries, of course. If someone isn’t willing to even explore an option to better themselves, then sometimes you’ve done all you can, and it’s OK to close that door. If you look back on your life or even your present life…do you want someone else to judge how you live your life? There is no such thing as a perfect life (should I repeat that for the folks in the back?). Shoot, I’m throwing my life out there to be judged like crazy and I’m OK with that. If I can help alleviate a little bit of pain for someone else…it’s all worth it. Peace is GOLD…if you are striving for anything, strive for Peace!
Don’t forget to vocalize your gratitude this week. I’m truly grateful that you take the time to read my blog. I am in a space where I’m grateful for my messy journey. Some days, my gratitude lies in the fact that I opened my eyes that morning…and that’s OK! Permission to get yourself some flowers this week – celebrate YOU!
I’ve been trying to post blogs with somewhat of a topic of ‘Heal Cook Love’ and in that order. This one really falls into all of the above.
When the stars align, my son doesn’t work and I’m in town – my son and I get to have Football Sunday. It’s truly become one of my favorite things this last year. We watch Red Zone pretty much all day, chat and I make all sorts of yummy food throughout the day. This last Sunday was extra special to my Mama Heart. I absolutely loved our conversation throughout the day – we truly talked about EVERYTHING under the sun. And I mean everything. My biggest take away was that he expressed he is the happiest he’s ever been. Boom – my heart instantly exploded. That’s all I ever want for my children…for them to find and savor their own happiness. Not MY definition of what I think might make them happy, but their very own form of happiness. Of course, you pray they are safe, find the career they align with, a home, etc., but above all, just happiness. It’s so important to know what that feels like. This boy sure has a special place in my heart!
I made some yummy food throughout the day. I don’t typically make the same things for each of us. I typically make us a little menu for the day and cook on/off all day – I love it! For breakfast, I made him some French Toast and his favorite protein muffins. Do you ever make these? I use butterscotch chips as my ‘stir in’.
I made him a steak sandwich (thank you leftovers) and made myself this tasty little protein bowl for lunch. Cottage cheese, rotisserie chicken, apples and Dill Pickle Dip Mix (I use this stuff all the time – SO good!). This was really flavorful, something great to prep for weekday lunches. You can get your own pickle dip mix HERE.
Pizza was for dinner. We love doing pizza at home…so does my wallet! Costco and Sam’s have these packs, (Boboli or other brands), they are a great price and they come with the pizza sauce. I sold one when I was there – ha! He’s a pepperoni guy and I love a good veggie or Canadian bacon and pineapple. Who doesn’t love pizza!
Truly such an awesome day and what a cool kid. Not that I didn’t already know what a great guy he is, but don’t you have moments with your children (in all phases of their life) when you just fall in love with them all over again? I can’t quite find the right words to explain it – it’s like the definition of pure joy. I’ve really tried to just say YES in these later years…wish I would have learned this sooner. The work will always be there, you can call people back and the laundry isn’t going anywhere. If your kids want you to go on a walk, go play a game with you, play a video game, watch a movie…you get the idea – DO IT! I promise you won’t regret it. Collect those moments!
If you look up Pure Joy in the dictionary
It’s moments like last Sunday when you truly gain a deeper understanding of happiness and gratitude. I brought this amazing human into this world and I couldn’t be more proud. It’s an overwhelming emotional feeling. For all those times you’ve wanted to wring your kids’ neck (don’t go crazy, I’ve never strangled my kids), know that having adult conversations with your adult children is so dang awesome! Listen to them, you might learn something. It’s been a wild year of change and adjustment, but most of all PEACE. You can’t put a price tag on that!
As always, if you haven’t picked or bought yourself flowers this week – permission to treat yourself to some flowers. Thanks for being here in this space with me. Oh, and don’t judge…but GO CLEVELAND BROWNS!
I’m back! I took a short hiatus to truly disconnect – Hawaii is not a bad place to do that. There is a missing menu for last week, since I didn’t cook. I know it’s weird, but I missed not cooking. I’m feeling refreshed and ready to dive back into things. This morning, I made this amazing throw together egg scramble to eat by itself, in a tortilla or on some sourdough bread with a little bacon for a sandwich.
Onion, artichoke hearts, egg and cottage cheese, topped with bacon and cheese. No, that isn’t a bug, it is crispy bacon and it was SOOOO good!
Before I dive into what’s on my mind, can we take a minute to look at that flower that I took a picture of in Hawaii. That flower is incredibly beautiful to me – so much color and vibrance, and yet slightly different from the others on the bush and surrounded by SO many other magnificent flowers and greenery. I’m always fascinated by nature. It’s amazing to me what flowers, trees and plants endure and yet are still so stunning. If we could only look at ourselves as we do at nature – MILLIONS of variations, oh the stories we could all tell…and yet ALL so incredibly beautiful and unique. We need to embrace what we feel might be an imperfection – we all have such different gifts to offer the world…just like these beautiful flowers.
So, I’ve been consciously working on pulling back on the use of the word ‘Sorry’. It was brought to my attention how often I say this word. Funny that when I was just in Hawaii, I was adding all of these delicious toppings to my salad at a buffet style breakfast and this woman was patiently waiting. I was rushing and said, ‘Sorry, I’m almost done’ (I mean the fresh toppings were all my favs), she touched my arm and said in a very calm voice ‘what are you sorry for, you don’t need to apologize’. There it was again, someone else telling me to not apologize. I forget the statistic, but it takes multiple times or the right timing to hear something before it kicks in (kind of like that brick to the head theory). That one hit me differently. Why am I apologizing – it truly sounds so silly. Instead, I should have said to her ‘I hope there’s some left for you’ – haha.
I’ve been thinking so much about the word ‘Sorry’. I mean, if you have truly hurt someone, then that is the best word to use. Sorry is a word I wanted to genuinely hear for SO many years and yet I would be the one apologizing to overcompensate…and I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Sorry is not only a word but an action. If someone says Sorry and continues to do the same thing they are apologizing for, who is really at fault here? Habits are hard to break for sure, BUT when you surround yourself with like-minded supportive people, your eyes will be opened to doing things a different way, a more healthy way of thinking and living.
Healing isn’t a linear process guys…we are forever learning and evolving. Give yourself a break and for goodness sake, stop apologizing. BE YOU and don’t apologize for it! If you catch me apologizing when it isn’t necessary, please call me out. I’m a work in progress and want to be the best version of myself I can.
Book update: I just finished the second book in the Housemaid series and it was SO good. Picking out a new book this weekend (suggestions welcome). I will wait to read book 3 of the Housemaid series, I like to change it up sometimes.
Tip of the week: Don’t forget to get yourself some fresh flowers (on my list for today). Also, a suggestion…I made a reverse to do list today. I started writing down all the things I’ve done, as I’ve done them. Wow – give it a shot. You do more than you think you do, be kind to yourself and be grateful for where you are RIGHT NOW!
Lastly, do you have something to share? Do you have a habit (such as saying ‘I’m Sorry’ all the time) that you want to try to break yourself of? We are all in this together. Keep sending your comments and messages, I love to read them. Have a magical week ahead. I know I will definitely be having a short manifestation meditation at 11:11 on 11/11! Yes, I’m that girl!
I’m at a phase in my life where complete Empty Nesting is extremely close. I have one graduating college in December and moving home for a handful of months before moving into her own place. My other is leaving next year to a 4-year to finish college. For those of you with littles, it’s true what they say – Don’t Blink!
If you would have asked me 10 years ago, this isn’t where I thought I would be at this stage of my life…although please don’t mistake my statement for a complaint. I have zero regrets for the decisions I’ve made and I wouldn’t change a thing. In fact, I feel like I’m in a much better place than I would have been had I stayed the same course with my marriage. I feel the same about my children – I’m not speaking for them, this is just my take on the situation. I’m often asked, do you wish you would have left sooner, etc….nope, I wouldn’t change a thing. I think everything happened in the exact timing it was supposed to. I look at my kids and see how they are soaring into adulthood and I continue to find my validation. They are absolutely amazing human beings that I am so proud of. I’m not saying they are perfect, none of us are, but they are just good people with a strong work ethic and pure hearts. And in some regards, the teacher, has become the student – I learn from them every day.
Taking my daughter to school last year was very emotional, even more so knowing what I was coming home to (I will save that story for my book). Let’s just say I was under an enormous amount of stress. My daughter and I are very close and of course I cried when we said our final goodbyes and I boarded my plane to come home. I remember being sad that she wasn’t coming back with me, but also told a friend that I didn’t totally get how incredibly sad some parents get. I was super excited for her. You get to watch your grown up child go after what they want. My overwhelming feeling of happiness and excitement for her, far outweighed being sad not seeing her every day. I’m not throwing stones or judging here, this is just my experience.
Look, my opinion may not be the popular one…just trying to offer some perspective. I think that parents tend to get way too involved in their children’s lives. We need to let them fly and make ‘mistakes’ (or as I like to refer to them as lessons). If we, as parents, continue to guide and protect them from what we feel may be the wrong decision, what will happen when they DO have to face the real world and face adversity? If we keep navigating their life for them, we haven’t equipped them with those tools…we’ve robbed them of that. Do you remember how many times YOU fell on your face in your teens and 20’s? I remember a call not too long ago with my daughter and she said ‘Mom, I don’t need you, I just want you’…my heart completely melted. THAT is what we are after here. We don’t want our children to need us, at least I don’t. I want them to be strong and independent individuals, but I sure want them to WANT me in their lives and involved in their beautiful journey. Something to ponder…what if in these years we poured into ourselves as much as we have poured into our children?
I’m personally loving this phase of my kids’ life AND mine. We ALL need to be flying more…spreading our wings on a quest for what is for our highest and best good. Give an opinion, IF they ask, but gosh – let them go. I’m not saying I don’t miss my children being around more often, but there is something so incredibly magical about watching them find their way through life. Our job is to raise them, give them good values and be good people, the rest is up to them. Rest assured they will call for your opinion, money, a good cry…the list goes on, and that is when we listen to them and support them the best we can. Please don’t try and live through them or compare experiences (I catch myself with this one…’when I was starving and trying to support myself…blah, blah blah’). Hey, I’m a work in progress too and currently living through this experience. I’m far from perfect but can confidently say that I’m a dang good Mom and have given my kids’ some great tools to go make their mark on this world. I’m sure you are a good parent too, you just don’t give yourself enough credit. I believe the vast majority of us do the best we can with the tools we have…and when you know better, DO BETTER.
How fitting! In honor of it almost being Halloween and talking about my babies flying…here they are. I remember this like it was yesterday. Fly my sweet kiddos…FLY!
I would like to leave you with this thought: Please do NOT beat yourself up about coulda, shoulda, woulda…make the best of whatever phase you are in RIGHT now. You can’t go back in time and do things different, if you want to change the way you are doing things, then change the way you are doing things. Are you in a crying baby, no sleep phase…this too shall pass and your baby will be running around in no time NOT wanting you to pick them up. Are you in crazy school, sport, activity mode…I promise you will miss the crazy. Savor it, lean into it and make it fun. So many phases in life, whether you have children or not. Above all, for goodness sake PUT YOUR PHONES DOWN and spend time with the ones you love, play games, go on walks…cherish the time you have together. It truly goes by so fast.
You’re gonna miss this. You’re gonna want this back. You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast. ~Lyrics by Trace Adkins
Perhaps I will revisit this topic when both of my children have completely moved out. I’m not there yet and savoring as much of this time with my son as I can. Have a beautiful week. Need menu/recipe ideas? I just posted my menu for the week HERE. Want more ideas, just shoot me a message. I really love all of the messages and comments you all send. Permission to buy yourself flowers and be kind to yourself.
