Well, it has been over a month since I have posted a blog…I’ve been busy taking care of myself. I’m at 6 weeks post-op from ACL surgery and I was back to work in a week and a half – I’m pooped. Although, I have been diligent in my physical therapy and working on my mindset, I definitely have my rough days. Pain just sucks and pushing through that pain knowing that you need to is a wild mental game. Juggling work and recovery is tough. However, I’m blessed to be able to work from home while I recover.

I just had a follow-up with my surgeon and he said these next 6 weeks are the most crucial. The pain will start to decrease and strength will increase – a little false hope. He said this is when most re-injuries occur. Two things can be true…I’m getting stronger, but I’m still weak. This is where mindset REALLY comes into play. I was chatting with a woman in the waiting room at physical therapy this week and she said to me – ‘this entire process isn’t fun, but you just have to keep your head straight, it is more of a mental game than anything else’. SO SO true!

Almost daily during this recovery process, my mind wanders to my daughter. My daughter had ACL AND Meniscus surgery. They also had to go back in a month later and do a manipulation – OUCH! She was a college athlete and was working hard to get back on the field. She was doing this recovery in a whole other state, all by herself while living in the dorms. Talk about being dished perspective. My heart has been aching for what she went through all over again. I truly don’t know how she did what she did – she’s an absolute warrior!

I’m sinking back into some normalcy, my new normal. I have really missed this outlet…I’m back! I’ve been doing quite a bit of writing and reflecting and I was stuck on ‘two things being true at once’ for a few days…

• I want to sleep a little longer AND I need to get up early to get my PT in
• I miss crazy sports weekends with the kids AND I love my current more chill (soon-to-be adventurous again) weekends
• I can be frustrated about this process AND I can be thankful for this process – SO much perspective and lessons
• I miss having both kids under my roof AND I love watching the process of them flying and finding their way
• It’s a tad weird to have someone else’s body part in me (I have a cadaver ACL) AND I’m incredibly grateful to my donor

Give it a try – what two things are true for you? It’s a beautiful way to dive into some perspective. My list is quite extensive, but I will spare you the rest.

So yes, two things can be true…surgery sucks AND recovery is a beautiful process. To those of you out there working on ANY type of recover, YOU’VE GOT THIS and you aren’t alone! You are so much stronger than you think. Your mind will try to tell you that you can’t or it hurts and I’m here to tell you that you can. Override your mind! Go get yourself some flowers – they will make you smile. As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference. Cheers!

Do you embrace the present moment? Do you sink in and truly feel your joy, your pain, your feelings, your relationships…do you lean in?

I had ACL surgery last Thursday, I’m 4 days post-op. You can prepare yourself as much as you want for surgery, but just like everything else in life…you never know what something feels like until you go through it. Today is the first day since surgery that I’ve chosen to surrender to leaning into the entire experience. I sunk into my routine (that will last for the next few weeks) and gave myself full permission for my morning nap. Sounds silly, but I always feel like I need to do be doing something. I’m consciously leaning in. It’s almost like you need to give yourself permission to feel all the feels of the roller coaster of emotions – this doesn’t just apply to surgery, this applies to every day life. Lean in!

Pain sucks – period. I should know better, as I’ve had major surgeries before. The afternoon of surgery and the day after are a bit of a teaser, since you have all the other pain killers running through your body. It’s the handful of days after that the pain really kicks in and you have to figure out how to manage it. This is a physical game, as much as it’s a mental game. Since my mobility is drastically decreased, I had to accept the help of my AMAZING Mother and stay with her for a few days to help care for me. THIS was a tough decision. Again, may sound silly to some, but I’m the one who likes to care for others. Accepting help from others is a tough one for me, makes me feel like a burden. Once again, in true fashion of my darn word of the year, I’ve been dished some perspective. The way that it brings me joy to cook or care for others, my Mother feels the same – it’s in my blood…it’s our love language. I’m leaning in to allowing her to care for me and have stopped apologizing for asking for more water or crackers. Although, those of you that know my Mom, I don’t have to ask much, as she’s already thought of everything. I only hope to be the type of caretaker for others, as she has been many times in my life for me.

I’m going to embrace this week as I work on my healing. Lean into all aspects of my life, do some reflecting and give myself permission to rest and truly heal. For others going through similar situations, I’m not taking away the suck factor of being in pain, it’s tough…but SO ARE YOU!

My message to you…lean into ALL of it, there are always lessons, even in the pain. Being in this much pain or having the slightest movement send a shock wave through my body, makes me want to do ALL the things to heal properly, and that includes rest, accepting help, doing my PT and slowing down. It also gives me so much gratitude for how powerful my body is and its amazing capability to heal. Lastly, most things in life are temporary…this pain I’m feeling is temporary and I know there are days of hiking, biking and being out on the water right over the horizon. In the meantime, I’m going to lean into ALL of it and learn from this experience.

Don’t forget to buy yourself flowers, you are worth it and I promise they will make you smile. As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference. Cheers!

I don’t want to speak for everyone, but most of us seem to have a tad bit of chaos in our lives. But do we really?

A little over a week ago, I was hit with complete overwhelm. It felt exactly how an old therapist described it to me. One little thing happened in the morning and then another and then another and then…well, you get the idea. All of the sudden, my mind was swirling with ALL of the things on my plate (and then some) and it hurt to try and breathe normally. I felt very strange and needed to lay down. I use breathing to help calm me and it wasn’t working. I think I was having an anxiety/panic attack.

It wasn’t until 2 days later that I was finally able to take a full and deep breathe. After having some good conversations, submerging into things that bring me joy, truly resting my body, and writing ALL the things in my head on paper…I felt like myself again. Do you ever feel so overwhelmed with what feels like one million things going on in your life and on your to do list, that you just need to stop and take account of how things are going and why you are spinning out of control? I had a realization later that evening – after doing a big brain dump (getting EVERYTHING out of my head and on paper), planning my meals for the week (it had been 2 weeks of flying by the seat of my pants) and making a to do list for the following week…it completely validated that THESE were my tools for dealing with multiple irons in the fire. When I get all of the madness out of my brain and get things planned out, it makes those hamsters on the wheel in my head stop running so dang fast.

This may not be the solution for everyone but this is what works for me. This is yet another lesson is finding the tools that work for YOU and do THAT repeatedly. For me, writing it all down makes what seems impossible possible. It also makes me realize that some of those things that seem SO big…aren’t really that big. Sometimes our mind can make things just seem insurmountable, when they truly aren’t. Do you ever get really worked up about something that hasn’t even happened…you know, future trip about it. That adds to your chaos too. Or how about adding things to your task list in your head to make you feel even more overwhelmed…when, in reality, it will only take you a short amount of time to accomplish.

How about together we all practice simply being present and allowing life to organically happen. Find the calm in your chaos and focus on solutions (whatever that looks like for YOU – this isn’t a one size fits all). Don’t forget to buy yourself or someone else flowers. It will not only bring you joy, but joy to those around you. As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference. Cheers!

Story time…last week I was fortunate to have a night out with my daughter and her boyfriend. We had a nice dinner, then headed to the Kings game. We parked in probably one of the last parking spots on the top of the parking garage. We were trying to hurry to get to the arena on time. The elevator door was closing and I ‘ran’ to try and catch it. Well, the pro’s and con’s of being very diligent with my pre-surgery physical therapy (I have a complete ACL tear), I have glimpses of where I forget my knee doesn’t work the way it should because I’m truly feeling pretty darn good. I use the term ‘run’ very loosely, let’s just say I took off a little too quickly. I’m sure it didn’t look much better than Phoebe from Friends (face in palm). I instantly remembered that I can’t move like that just yet. I was so uncomfortable at the game and it just progressively got worse.

I was up just about all night in an incredible amount of non-stop pain. I woke up in the same state. I cancelled my entire day (which was a huge bummer, I had fun plans), but knew I needed to rest and get my head screwed on straight. I also have quite a bit on my plate and I’m sure that contributed to the terrible pain I was feeling. I was trying to remain positive, took a few naps and after the second one, I was actually able to walk. I decided to hit the gym and get my PT in. I kept rubbing my knee and was trying to remain as positive as I could – sounds silly, but I DO think it helps. A little positive self-talk goes a long way.

By late the following day, I was moving and not in constant pain. It honestly felt like a bit of a miracle with how much pain I had been in…I wasn’t at a 10, but darn close. I attribute the quick bounce back to a handful of things. I’ve taken my PT seriously – I’m doing PT for my back and my knee and it’s made a huge difference in how I feel. I’ve also been trying to clean up my diet. I will share below some of the healthier alternatives I’ve been stocking my pantry with. I’m focusing on eating more whole foods and if I want a snack, I want it to be cleaner and healthier. Look, I’m not going crazy and giving up my popcorn and an occasional Reese’s, but I just want to make healthier choices. It truly just makes me feel better – mentally AND physically.

I’ve also been very consistent with my morning journaling. I write in two journals – one is my manifestation journal and the other is more of a gratitude journal. This process literally takes me 5-10 minutes MAX, but it’s such a great way to start the day. I also do a 5 minute or less guided meditation. Lastly, I make my bed. These small things in the morning really help my mindset for the day.

Here are some of my latest ‘healthier’ food finds.

I now have every one of these items above on auto-delivery. If I need a chocolate fix, those chocolate chunks are so good, and you only need a few to satisfy your sweet tooth. The faro cups were a pleasant surprise. I’ve only tried one so far and it was delicious and super filling. Add a little chicken or salmon – yummo! My son and I both really like the granola and heavenly hunks. Fun fact for those of you with a gluten intolerance, most of these items are gluten free. I use Thrive market, but you can find these items at most grocery stores.

I realize I always have a long way of getting to my point…make the small changes, focus on what matters most in your life, choose a healthy lifestyle, surround yourself with those that motivate and lift you up. Once you start to see and feel results, you won’t want to take your foot off the gas pedal. You will turn the small things into bigger things. Your 10 minute workout will become 30, you won’t reach for that sugary treat, you won’t engage in conversations that don’t serve you. I’m not saying I don’t have bad days, I’m human…but I have a toolbelt of things that I KNOW work for ME to get my mind and body on track to feel the best I can. What’s in your toolbelt?

This is what works for me and I’ve had many years of trial and error. I do believe in starting with small habits and truly you will feel a shift and want to keep going and increase the time or amount of things that make you feel better and bring you joy. Keep searching until you find what works for YOUR mind, body and soul. Every day is a gift and we need to treat it as such. Go smell some fresh flowers, buy yourself flowers or buy some for someone else. I’m currently in Las Vegas for a conference, so I’m loving all of the gorgeous flower arrangements in the hotel. As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference. Cheers!

P.S. I finished reading Let Them and it was good and I love the theory behind it, but my favorite so far is the Secret to Love, Health & Money. I just picked up The Power, which is also in the Secret series. Loving it so far – SO many powerful nuggets of just good stuff.

I swear everywhere we turn there is a new ‘Influencer’ on social media. I was listening to a podcast that was talking about the fact that we just have too much information at our fingertips and it is so confusing and overwhelming. I felt that. I’m sure this has happened to you too, you talk to a friend about choosing to eat healthier and suddenly your social media feed is inundated with every possible fad diet, supplement to take, etc. I admit it, I have bit more than once. Eat this, take this pill, walk a million miles, you aren’t exercising right for your age, you should dress like this…it’s just, well…overwhelming.

Then it hit me – in our daily lives as friends, parents, co-workers, on social media, etc. – we are ALL Influencers. We give people our opinions, tell them their hair or outfit is cute, give relationship advice, pet advice, professional advice – you name it. Anything that you hear or see from anyone and anywhere can influence you. You could watch a commercial about traveling to Greece and poof…you want to plan a trip to Greece. I mean, how many times has my doctor told me to stay off Web MD?! (face in palm) I think all of this information available to us is a blessing and curse. If you don’t want to think for yourself, you really don’t have to anymore.

What kind of influencer do you want to be? I’m serious and I’d really like you to think about this. How do you talk to others? How do you treat people? Are you always thankful for what you have or do you complain about what you don’t have? Do you share bad news with others that really doesn’t need to be shared? Do you pay strangers compliments? How do you speak to your family, your children, your siblings? How do your speak to yourself? Yep, I went there – how are YOU influencing YOU?

On the other side of this, who influences you? I used to tell my kids, you are like the 4-5 people you hang around most, choose wisely. This is true in your adult life too. If you are looking to make a big decision, do you turn to a psychic (for real, some people do this), a friend that has never been through what you have, social media…the list goes on? What about looking inside and really thinking about what YOU want. I’m not saying to never bounce things off of friends, family, therapists or whoever…I’m just saying that we need to trust and rely on ourselves more.

In the end, YOU have to live with your decisions and who you allow into your circle. I’m blessed to be surrounded by uplifters, truth givers (even when you don’t want to hear it) and beautiful people that also allow me the space to think for myself. I think we’ve gotten away from this, perhaps it’s a loss of confidence. I know I lived for YEARS with a major lack of confidence and not trusting myself and my decisions. If you have lost confidence in yourself, it’s time to take your power back. I don’t care how old you are, you have the tools to make decisions for YOU. The only one that has to live with your decisions is YOU. Will they always be the right ones – nope, and that is OK. Don’t live in fear that you will make a ‘wrong’ decision. There is no such thing, perhaps it’s a lesson that you should have taken another path, but how do you know if you don’t try.

To answer my original question…yes, you – YOU are an influencer. Permission to make some bold decisions for yourself and stop asking everyone for validation. Stop caring about what other people think. And please please stop comparing yourself and your journey with ANYONE. You only get ONE life, do it YOUR way. How do YOU want to influence others?

Go buy yourself some flowers and have an amazing month ahead. I was greeted by these beautiful flowers when I got to my boyfriend’s last week. I can’t get enough of that one on the bottom right – so so pretty!

As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference. Cheers!

Have you ever given someone a second chance? Shoot, I gave my ex-husband multiple ‘second’ chances…more than I care to admit. I’ve given friendships a second chance and I’m glad I did. Yes, I have given my boyfriend a second chance…and I’m glad I did.

I’m sure some of you read what I write and make up your own conclusions and have your opinions. I mean, of course you do – I put it all out there. Do I share every little personal detail, of course not. I chose to dive into this blog world to be raw, honest and authentic with all of you. My mission from the beginning remains the same – if one person can not feel alone or relate to what I share, I’m accomplishing my mission. Look, we all have messy lives and if you think your life is excluded from chaos and imperfections…you might want to look in the mirror and be honest with YOU. Guess what – messy is OK. Imperfection is OK (what is perfect anyway?). It’s OK and perfectly healthy to not have everything go your way all the time. That is when we learn and grow. Think about it, if we had no mountains to climb…how would we ever know how to climb them?

I’ve learned SO much over the last few years. I’ve learned what I will and won’t tolerate. I’ve learned to view things from other perspectives, my way isn’t the only way. I’ve learned to conquer fears. I’ve learned that life can truly be peaceful and beautiful with the right people around you.

Communication can make or break ANY relationship. You need TWO willing parties that actually WANT to communicate and understand each other. It wasn’t the 48-hour breakup that mattered, it was the conversation that happened after. I mean, it did at the time – I was a mess…but what happened after truly mattered the most. Sometimes it isn’t the game you lose or the mess you make, it’s how you clean it up. It’s saying you are sorry and actually meaning it. It is the effort made. It is the honest tough conversations of fear and how we got to where we are today. I’ve realized through this process that some really beautiful open conversations can be on the other side of a really crappy situation. I’ve also come to the realization that we ALL have a story (I just blogged about this not too long ago). We all react differently to things, we all have different triggers and traumas from our many years of life…but it’s how you talk about and fix the wrong doing. It’s how you make it right.

Do you ever put the shoe on the other foot – I mean really try and understand where someone else is coming from? You know how sometimes you can hang on a comment or brief remark someone makes (and perhaps they didn’t have any meaning behind it)…you know, they can do the same thing. Do you really listen to what YOU say and how you say it. Perspective was the perfect word for me this year. I’m a sponge and want to continue to learn and grow into the best human I can possibly be. I’m still a work in progress, but gosh am I enjoying the hell out of the journey. I’m truly blessed to have had this man walk into my life (he’s pretty dang lucky too).

As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference. Cheers!