First of all, I realize that my last blog could have been triggering for some. Please know that I do NOT take healing lightly. Healing looks different for everyone and I am 100% not here to judge. I’m not telling anyone to ‘just get over it’. Childhood traumas, present obstacles, abusive relationships…all of it, these are NOT light topics and not something you can heal from overnight. My point I was trying to make is to please take the steps to heal from those things so they don’t become a built-in excuse for you to not live your best life. You are the only one that can heal YOU…and YOU owe that to yourself! I’m not saying it’s an easy road either, but DO THE WORK – it’s worth it! Perhaps I didn’t express that properly in my previous post, but I wanted to make sure to get my point across. I would like to help you in your healing journey, not hinder it!

You are the only one that can heal YOU…and YOU owe that to yourself!

Which brings me to my thoughts for today…and how ironic – OVERTHINKING! After I posted that last blog, I felt like I came across harsh. I mean, I know my intentions and they are always from a good place, as I would love to help heal everyone everywhere, but I didn’t want people to think I was being insensitive. What a wild hamster wheel. I feel like I overthink darn near everything. Anyone else feel this?

A great example of my lovely overthinking mind is a good friend of mine and I ran into each other one night and we talk darn near every day, multiple times a day. I didn’t hear from her the next morning, as I normally would and I instantly started replaying our previous interaction (that was literally minutes). Did I do something to upset her? Was she mad at me? Long story longer…as the day went on, she thought the exact same thing. Seriously, what is wrong with us as humans? Can we all please make a vow to just BE and STOP overthinking EVERYTHING! I could have simply said – did I do something? Are you upset with me? Nope, instead I stewed over it, stared at my phone and made up all of these silly conclusions.

This quote is so spot on! Overthinking, future tripping, guessing an outcome…whatever you want to call it, it all turns into anxiety. We get worked up over a hypothetical. What a vicious circle. Why do we do this to ourselves? It’s so self-inflicted. Why not DO YOU with the best of intentions and confidence and stop there. We live in this crazy immediate world and oh dear, if someone doesn’t respond to us within a few minutes, a few hours or good Lord, wait for it…an entire DAY, we think the absolute worst. Let’s just make a promise to each other. Stop making trouble for yourself. It will eat you up inside, please take my word for it. Have a question to ask someone, just rip off the band-aid and do it. Wondering why someone didn’t call you back, call them. Can we find strength in numbers and do this together. Catch yourself while you are creating a scenario in your head and stop yourself. Instead of thinking the worst case scenario…

What if you FLY?

I’ve already been drafting my next post, as it is a COOK topic and it’s baking season. I love to cook and am pretty good at it, baking…let’s just say, I do my best. I’m going to share what I bake every year. All of my recipes are super easy and have become favorites of so many. Can’t wait to share with you!

Have a magical weekend, don’t forget to buy yourself flowers (or hint to someone that you’d really enjoy some flowers) and go easy on yourself. This can be a crazy emotional time of year too. Lean into what you are grateful for and surround yourself with love and support!

Why did I even create this blog? Well, I realized a year and a half later, I am still healing…shoot, make that 10-20 years later. We are constantly evolving and changing, meeting new people and removing people from our lives. By the way, it’s OK to remove people from your life that do not contribute to your happiness or well-being. To me, it is important to always be on a healing journey. You never know how your words or actions may affect someone else and who may be watching. I encourage you to check on your family and friends. The majority of people are not ‘fine’. People need people. People need to feel loved and that they have a place in this world. Hence, the birth of my blog. In sharing my experiences and perspective, perhaps it will help in someone else’s healing journey…and it sure is helping with my own.

Through my journey, I’ve realized what an over compensator I am. Previously, if someone didn’t like me, I felt it was my mission to win them over. If I wasn’t feeling loved by someone, I would try to love a little harder. I think you get the idea. Please stop doing this. Stop seeking validation in others. As I write this, I too continue to make a concentrated effort not to go down this path. YOU ARE ENOUGH! If you aren’t happy with YOU, then change for YOU and no one else. I do know when you have traumatic experiences in your life that little things could trigger you and set your mind back to those traumatic memories. Dive in and find the tools to help soften that blow of those triggers and be able to pull yourself back into a good space. I’ve probably already said this before, as it is a motto I try to live by – you can have a bad day or two, but do not stay there!

You are enough!

Please have some empathy for those around you. Healing is not linear and is definitely not one size fits all. It’s so incredible to me, the more people I connect with, the more I’ve become aware of the fact that we, as humans, carry a tremendous amount on our shoulders. I told a friend the other day that we have been through things that would break most people. Perhaps you don’t give yourself enough credit for what you have survived. Permission to give yourself a pat on the back – you are HERE and the world is grateful to have you!

As we approach Thanksgiving this week, be mindful that the holidays can be especially tough for some and trigger some unwanted memories. I would love to help to try to assist you in flipping that script. Don’t dwell on the past, if those memories no longer serve you, start a new tradition, make a new memory and make the best of what you have. To those of you that don’t know what it’s like to experience loss or trauma in your life, please know that when you drive down the street or walk through a crowded mall…the majority of people in your presence are dealing with something heavy either presently or in their past. I’m not giving excuses to those that have gone through insurmountable things to act in an unkind manner, I’m just saying that we should go through life a little lighter. Spread a little more love, be more giving to those around you and have a little grace (yourself included).

Again, why did I set out to create this blog? I wanted to raise awareness that it’s OK to not be OK. I want to open the conversation that we all need help in some sort of way. One day, I hope that my words can help pave a path for someone else to live a healthier and stronger life. Please don’t judge people that are in a situation that you think they should remove themselves from. Gaslighting is real. Feeling like you are stuck and alone is real. I lived that life. Listen to people and be there for them, with boundaries, of course. If someone isn’t willing to even explore an option to better themselves, then sometimes you’ve done all you can, and it’s OK to close that door. If you look back on your life or even your present life…do you want someone else to judge how you live your life? There is no such thing as a perfect life (should I repeat that for the folks in the back?). Shoot, I’m throwing my life out there to be judged like crazy and I’m OK with that. If I can help alleviate a little bit of pain for someone else…it’s all worth it. Peace is GOLD…if you are striving for anything, strive for Peace!

Don’t forget to vocalize your gratitude this week. I’m truly grateful that you take the time to read my blog. I am in a space where I’m grateful for my messy journey. Some days, my gratitude lies in the fact that I opened my eyes that morning…and that’s OK! Permission to get yourself some flowers this week – celebrate YOU!

I’m back! I took a short hiatus to truly disconnect – Hawaii is not a bad place to do that. There is a missing menu for last week, since I didn’t cook. I know it’s weird, but I missed not cooking. I’m feeling refreshed and ready to dive back into things. This morning, I made this amazing throw together egg scramble to eat by itself, in a tortilla or on some sourdough bread with a little bacon for a sandwich.

Before I dive into what’s on my mind, can we take a minute to look at that flower that I took a picture of in Hawaii. That flower is incredibly beautiful to me – so much color and vibrance, and yet slightly different from the others on the bush and surrounded by SO many other magnificent flowers and greenery. I’m always fascinated by nature. It’s amazing to me what flowers, trees and plants endure and yet are still so stunning. If we could only look at ourselves as we do at nature – MILLIONS of variations, oh the stories we could all tell…and yet ALL so incredibly beautiful and unique. We need to embrace what we feel might be an imperfection – we all have such different gifts to offer the world…just like these beautiful flowers.

So, I’ve been consciously working on pulling back on the use of the word ‘Sorry’. It was brought to my attention how often I say this word. Funny that when I was just in Hawaii, I was adding all of these delicious toppings to my salad at a buffet style breakfast and this woman was patiently waiting. I was rushing and said, ‘Sorry, I’m almost done’ (I mean the fresh toppings were all my favs), she touched my arm and said in a very calm voice ‘what are you sorry for, you don’t need to apologize’. There it was again, someone else telling me to not apologize. I forget the statistic, but it takes multiple times or the right timing to hear something before it kicks in (kind of like that brick to the head theory). That one hit me differently. Why am I apologizing – it truly sounds so silly. Instead, I should have said to her ‘I hope there’s some left for you’ – haha.

I’ve been thinking so much about the word ‘Sorry’. I mean, if you have truly hurt someone, then that is the best word to use. Sorry is a word I wanted to genuinely hear for SO many years and yet I would be the one apologizing to overcompensate…and I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Sorry is not only a word but an action. If someone says Sorry and continues to do the same thing they are apologizing for, who is really at fault here? Habits are hard to break for sure, BUT when you surround yourself with like-minded supportive people, your eyes will be opened to doing things a different way, a more healthy way of thinking and living.

Healing isn’t a linear process guys…we are forever learning and evolving. Give yourself a break and for goodness sake, stop apologizing. BE YOU and don’t apologize for it! If you catch me apologizing when it isn’t necessary, please call me out. I’m a work in progress and want to be the best version of myself I can.

Book update: I just finished the second book in the Housemaid series and it was SO good. Picking out a new book this weekend (suggestions welcome). I will wait to read book 3 of the Housemaid series, I like to change it up sometimes.

Tip of the week: Don’t forget to get yourself some fresh flowers (on my list for today). Also, a suggestion…I made a reverse to do list today. I started writing down all the things I’ve done, as I’ve done them. Wow – give it a shot. You do more than you think you do, be kind to yourself and be grateful for where you are RIGHT NOW!

Lastly, do you have something to share? Do you have a habit (such as saying ‘I’m Sorry’ all the time) that you want to try to break yourself of? We are all in this together. Keep sending your comments and messages, I love to read them. Have a magical week ahead. I know I will definitely be having a short manifestation meditation at 11:11 on 11/11! Yes, I’m that girl!

Last week I talked about Fear and Love. I think there is so much fear surrounding doing the hard things in life. And really…what isn’t difficult? Raising children, choosing the right career, falling in love, staying fit and healthy – these are TOUGH things! Shoot, sometimes getting out of bed in the morning is hard – I’ve been there. Some are just tougher than others and require you to take a chance.

Why do the right things tend to be the hardest things? Let’s think about this for a moment:

• Telling your children ‘No’ – for whatever reason. They could harm themselves, you don’t have the money, the answer is just no. It’s the right thing, but it isn’t easy.
• Waking up when your alarm goes off the FIRST time and perhaps getting in a workout first thing in the morning. Not easy, but the right thing for your mind and body.
• Asking for a divorce. Heavy stuff…but if you know this is what is best for you, it’s the right thing to do. It doesn’t make it any easier. I know firsthand, it’s very hard to ask for a divorce.
• Asking someone out for the first time. I always felt bad for the boys asking girls to a dance, how brave and hard. But, if they want to take that girl to a dance, it’s the right thing.
• Losing weight because it is at a point where it is actually affecting your health. This is not an easy feat. Most folks have had the same habits for years. Again, the right thing is hard.
• Telling someone you love them. This takes so much courage and you know it’s the right thing to say, but it doesn’t make those words any easier to come out of your mouth.
• Accepting or turning down a job offer. Scary stuff, especially for your kiddos joining the work force for the first time. Hard decisions, but you will make the right one for you.
• Moving away to somewhere new. I know so many folks that have taken the bold leap to leave what they know and plunge into something new and different. Turned out to be the right thing, but definitely scary.

I could go on and on with examples. What are you holding back doing because it’s hard? Let’s make a pact, as this is my theme right now. Let’s get comfortable with getting uncomfortable. I’m not saying that jumping into something new (whatever that looks like for you) is going to be smooth sailing, but just think about what could happen if you starting living this amazing fulfilling life that you didn’t know was available to you? Often times, the right decisions are the toughest and that is what gives us more strength and courage to continue to face the hard things. Please don’t sit around and complain about what you don’t have if you aren’t willing to go do the hard things and work for what you want! If you don’t like something, change it, this is YOUR life and you CAN do hard things!

Completely off topic, but my new menu is up. You can access all menu’s HERE. I love that some of you are getting inspired, even my own daughter. I got this message from her last week and it made my heart so happy!

Wishing you a magical week ahead, filled with beautiful moments, maybe a little risk and things that bring you pure joy. I encourage you to take a leap into doing the hard things. Will you fall on your face sometimes, you sure will…but that is where you just gain more tools and get stronger. Falling on your face is where the lessons are learned. Together, let’s erase the fear behind doing the hard things.

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.

I’m going to go dive back into my new book. This is book 2 of this Housemaid series. I couldn’t put down the first one and my daughter said all 3 were page turners. I’d love your book suggestions too. Thank you for your support and your sweet messages – I very much appreciate you. Lastly, permission granted to get yourself some beautiful flowers – you deserve it!