Once again one of my words for the year comes a knockin’ on my door this week. LISTEN! This is such a HUGE word and comes in so many forms. The way listening came into play for me this last week, was listening to my body. I didn’t feel 100% when I went to bed the night before and when I woke up, in the time I was taking to debate pushing through the day or not, I was knocked back out again. I literally slept all day long…we MUST listen to our bodies. They talk to us, but do we always listen? It’s taken me 51 years to learn this and I’m all ears!

Gosh, as I write about this word, I have so much passion behind how important listening is in all faucets. Let’s chat about listening to others. Do you interrupt others when they are talking? Do you actually hear what they are saying? Are you thinking about what you want to say next…because if you are – you aren’t listening. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Another big aspect of listening to others is listening to your children. When my kids were growing up, it was SO hard to not react at some of the things I heard. But, here’s the deal – they really don’t want to hear what you have to say (unless they ask, of course)…just LISTEN…without judgement. What a beautiful gift to give your friends, family, significant others, children, co-workers, employees, bosses…JUST LISTEN!

If you follow along on my blog, you know that I am a BIG ‘signs’ person. Whatever higher power you believe in, God, the Universe, Mother Nature…all of it – JUST LISTEN. If you are open to listening to these signs that are presented to you (and they are presented to you daily), it’s amazing what you will hear. Now, I also have a feather/brick theory. You can listen all you want, even when you know what you are listening to is the right thing, but until that brick hits you in the head…you don’t always follow the path laid out in front of you. It’s magical and truly so beautiful when you are OPEN to listening to all the signs all around you.

LISTEN! Listen to yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else. Everyone will tell you what you ‘should’ do, you know, because they know better than you do of what YOU should do. I’ve grown to really shut down when people tell me what I should do. Advice is great, when it’s asked for. Unsolicited advice, most times, does not sit well with people. Just sayin. So, listen to YOU! I mean, take it ALL in. It’s great to bounce things off of those you trust most but NO ONE and I mean NO ONE knows your body, your situation, you life better than you!

Do you have your listening ears on? I couldn’t help myself, with all the kids’ returning to school – don’t you remember your teachers saying that to you? Let’s check ourselves and put on our listening ears. There is so much beauty in what you can actually hear when you listen. Above all, listen to YOU…never doubt yourself and remember – there are no mistakes, just lessons. Go have yourself a beautiful weekend and pick yourself a small bouquet of wildflowers. As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others. Cheers!

When I hear this word, that old Billy Joel song plays in my head…anyone else?

Everyone I know, and I mean everyone, is under some kind of pressure. Some from outside sources but we also put SO much undo pressure on ourselves.

• Are we raising our kids the right way?
• Are we performing well at work?
• Are we eating the right foods and getting enough exercise?
• Are our friends and family OK – do they need help?
• Are we doing enough in school to get the right grades?
• Are we good enough…or just enough?

The list could go on forever because it is US – WE are our own worst enemy. WE are putting all of this pressure on ourselves. And guess what – WE ARE ENOUGH and we don’t need validation from anyone else but us! I have a friend that said to me one time, ‘I’m not doing the best I can, I’m doing the best that I can do’. It took me a minute for that to sink in. The majority of the time, we are giving it our all and doing our absolute best. But, why do we put so much dang pressure on ourselves to always be the best. Sometimes, it is OK to just do the best that you can in that moment. Sometimes that is all we have to give…and THAT IS OK!

Now, I understand there are outside pressures in life that we just simply cannot control. However, you can control how you react to those pressures – how you take it on, how you present yourself to others and to YOURSELF…how your show up. How do you handle pressure? Really ask yourself that question. Some folks are dealing with life threatening pressures. I read about some of those people (know some of those people) and take a page out of their book. They are choosing to respond to these incredibly tough situations with grace and understanding and still finding gratitude. Once again, GRATITUDE is our key…it is always the answer! Where is the opportunity in your struggle – there is one, if you take the time to dive into it. I’m not taking away the suck factor, as pressure, struggles are tough as heck, but being sad, angry and frustrated isn’t helping anyone – especially you!

Let’s work together and normalize the fact that in this exact moment, what you are doing personally, professionally, as a parent, as a student, as a human being is perfection! We are flooded with way too much information that quite honestly can be a detriment. I just blogged about comparison (Click HERE to read). Comparison, Stress, Overwhelm, Pressure – it all steals your joy. Take back your power and don’t let the pressures of life get the better of you. Flip that script and find the lesson and attack with gratitude!

I encourage you to read this a second time and let it sink in. You don’t need to succumb to the pressure. Take a breather and peel back the layers of what is important to YOU. You are the most important project you could possibly work on. Go grab yourself some flowers and enjoy their beauty, as you should enjoy your own beauty. As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others. Cheers!

Holy cow – we all seem to subscribe to the something shiny theory. I posted this image (above) a few weeks back and I’m definitely not alone. I mean, I walk through my place and there are small unfinished things darn near every step I take – a half written grocery list, the dryer open with half the clothes still in there, the bathroom is partially cleaned (from last week), the dishwasher is open and cleaned out, but there are 4 dishes in the sink…I could go on and on, but this is my real life situation. Hey Google…Why Do I start things and never finish them?

Uhhh…all of the above. I definitely can relate to suffering from perfectionism, fear of failure or success and lack of planning. Although I’m pretty good at planning, sometimes I write the SAME thing on my list week after week. A BIG issue I often find in myself and others is we think a task is so daunting so we keep ignoring it, when, in fact, it actually takes us 15 minutes. How many times has this happened to you too? You work yourself up, thinking ‘this is going to take forever’…and it just doesn’t. The lists both personally and professionally will always be never-ending, but I will continue trying different tactics to actually finish what I start. This isn’t anything new, it is just unbreaking a lifelong pattern.

Here’s an idea…make a list of all the tasks you have to do and then make a separate list of all of your projects (these have multiple tasks associated with them). Whip out a pen and paper and start writing – please don’t do this on your phone. You need it IN YOUR FACE. Review this list EVERY night before you go to bed and decide what you want to accomplish the next day. Then DO IT! This is what I’ve been trying and it’s motivating. I’m also making a conscious effort to not get distracted by something shiny. It’s even the little tasks, like unloading the dishwasher and then start cleaning out the frig when I’m halfway done unloading the dishwasher. I stopped myself and completed the dishes and then moved to the frig. Multi-tasking isn’t always a super power.

So, as I’ve mentioned before, sometimes I write a blog post over a period of a few days. The above was written last week. It is very early Tuesday morning and I’m here to say – I took my own advice. You know those items you have on your list that have been there for what feels like an eternity. Or, you dive into a task and then just say – Oh, I will finish that later. Well, I made some MAJOR headway this weekend and I wanted to explain how this feels because I feel quite accomplished!

Here is a real life example of me taking the bull by the horns and focusing on finishing a pretty big task…my disastrous closet. My closet was (notice I said ‘was’) a complete disaster and it kept snowballing. I just continued to pile things up. Well, this weekend, I decided to tackle that lovely closet of mine. It was later in the evening on Saturday night (Yes, quite the wild Saturday night) and I took EVERYTHING out of my closet and piled it on my bed and around my room. This motivated me to have to finish. Finish what you start, Tiffany – don’t half ass it. I think I finally went to bed after 2 AM – but I got it done!

Talk about being vulnerable. Here take a look at my complete mess of a closet…but….THIS felt SO good. I ended up with 8 very large trash bags filled with clothes, shoes and purses to donate. Your external environment absolutely contributes to your internal. Organization and cleanliness just FEELS good. I’m not kidding when I say, I woke up and could breathe a little easier for sure AND I felt super accomplished.

Actual entry in my Notes on my phone:

4/3/24 – How many times do you start over? How many times do you have an epiphany? You think you got it and you change your ways for 3 days, maybe even a week and then poof…10 years passes you by

Wow, if that wasn’t the perfect time to find that Note. Working on not ignoring the signs that whack me right in the face. Let’s do this together FINISH WHAT YOU START…AND, if it isn’t on your list, don’t do it. If it is important enough, put it ON your list, so you have the satisfaction of marking it off. Work on ONE thing at a time, finish it…THEN start the next thing. Stop thinking things to death – JUST DO IT!

I’m in love with this quote below!

So, let’s do this. Live your life with purpose and finish what you start – the choice is yours. I’ve downsized my notebook to fit in my purse. Need one? I’ve got you covered…and it’s SO cute. You can shop HERE.

Write on that list of yours to go buy yourself some beautiful flowers that will brighten your day – you deserve it. As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others. Cheers!

Be prepared to have your mind blown!

Well, I can tell you that the average person has between 2,500 and 3,300 thoughts PER HOUR. Yes, I said per hour…so if we average 3,000/hour and say we are awake 16 hours a day (yes, you should try for 8 hours of sleep)…that is 48,000 thoughts per day – FOURTY EIGHT THOUSAND. When I looked this up, the hamsters on that wheel in my head felt like they sped up a little. I mean – WOW, just Wow! And crazy that this is on the low end, some studies show up to 80,000 thoughts per day. What do we possibly do with all of that information swirling in our head? No wonder why most of us subscribe to the ‘Something Shiny’ theory – we are inundated with thoughts!

Now because I like to take things one step further, do you ever consider the person you are talking to at any given moment (your child, partner, teacher, parent, boss, employee, grocery store checker, etc.) has the same amount of thoughts running through their brain AND they aren’t inside your head – neither of you have a clue of what the other is thinking or dealing with internally. Perhaps they are snippy with you or checked out…uhhh, they may have 100 thoughts running through their mind as you are speaking to them. You may be having an amazing day and they may be struggling today. Perspective ya’ll…PERSPECTIVE!

Once again, I’m dished perspective (I’m beginning to be grateful for my word of the year). This isn’t permission to be rude or mean to others, it’s just another way to look at things. If the person you are talking to snaps back at you or you feel isn’t listening, you can kindly ask ‘do you have something on your mind’, ‘can we chat when you have a few minutes to be fully present’, ‘I know my mind is completely overwhelmed, how are YOU feeling’. Compassion guys…let’s all give grace to ourselves as well as others. You never know the mental obstacles someone may be experiencing. Perhaps you dive in and find healthy ways to clear your mind.

I practice a good amount of those things mentioned above, but one of my favorites is a good ole brain dump. I try to do this once a week. Do you ever do a brain dump? I am a pen and paper kind of girl. If I put a note in my phone, the odds of me seeing it again are quite slim. If it isn’t written down and in front of my face, it’s not happening. A good brain dump is good for your mental state too – get it out of your head and on paper and GET IT DONE! Here are a few ideas to get you started…

Just about everyone I talk says that they have one million and one things on their mind. Two things – figure out how to best work through that, so you don’t make yourself crazy AND secondly, have some empathy and compassion for others…they are in your same boat, just different paddles (or potentially no paddles at all).

Writing this blog is such a beautiful part of my healing process and I truly hope it helps you in some way…even just a tiny bit. As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others. Cheers!

I was listening to a podcast recently and they were chatting about gratitude. The guest on the show (Mel Robbins podcast with Jay Shetty as the guest) said, ‘Instead of thinking what do I have that I’m grateful for, think of what can I not live without’. That made my mind implode!

I mean, think of how your life would be without something or someone. The old adage – ‘You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone’. Thinking about gratitude in reverse is such a game changer. It made me think of all the people, places and things that I feel I cannot live without and in turn am so incredibly grateful for. Wow…just Wow!

Think about that quote above. Reflect on your life, you are most likely currently living in an answered prayer. We tend to dwell on what we don’t have or constantly striving for more. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with goals and aspirations…but do you truly take time to sit in your current state. Sitting in the present (your current gift) and having gratitude for where you are and what you’ve overcome. If you are overjoyed with every aspect of your current situation – kudos to you. But let’s be real, that isn’t quite everyone’s reality. If you are currently trapsing through some tough times, I encourage you to find SOMETHING to be proud of yourself for – something to give gratitude for. PLEASE remember, there is ALWAYS something.

Someone Would Love to Live Your Worst Day. ~Jay Shetty

That one was worth repeating. Personally, I write in two journals in the morning. Don’t deep sigh at me…my morning process is less than 10 minutes. I write in my manifestation journal. EVERY entry since October of last year starts with ‘In diving timing…’ and then I go from there. I write my vision for myself and I’ve already had one come to fruition and it was a big one. Secondly, I write in a prompted journal. It’s great, as I’ve heard from so many people ‘I don’t know what to write about’, this journal takes the guess work out. It’s one question a day and some really make you think. I answer my journal prompt and end my entry with gratitude. I’ve recently altered my gratitude practice. Not only do I list all of the people and things I’m grateful for in my life, I’ve started to reflect on what I’m grateful for about ME. I’m grateful for my strong body, my creative mind, generous heart – so much gratitude for the work I’ve done on myself and I thank myself every morning. Try it!

So, I sometimes write a blog over a period of a few days. Here is reality at it’s finest. Ironic that I had a bit of a Debbie Downer moment yesterday. I wrote above ‘we tend to dwell on what we don’t have’…well, I did just that yesterday and my sweet boyfriend pulled me out by flipping the script and reminding me of the things I should be grateful for. I AM grateful for those things, but I was believing all the silly things my mind was telling me that aren’t going as I’d like them to. It was an instant mood booster. You need people in your life to check you. One step further, in chatting with a friend this morning and sharing with her that I miss my boyfriend, she said ‘be grateful you are with someone worth missing’. Wowzer – I’m blessed.

A gratitude practice really works my friends! When you have a moment where you aren’t feeling so grateful, yet have a regular gratitude practice, it’s so much easier to get back in that state. I am SO incredibly grateful for my village of people that lift me up when I need it the most. Surround yourself with beautiful people and LIVE IN GRATITUDE, even when you have to dig deep to find it. After all, you are living and breathing, even if you are struggling – you are HERE and on this earth and you have a purpose. Do you need something to be grateful for – you woke up today. Cherish that! Go buy yourself some flowers or take photos of beautiful flowers on a walk. These flowers were at a woman’s home on the Oregon coast and I was so taken by how gorgeous and vibrant they were (I LOVE hydrangeas).

As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others. Cheers!

P.S. Need a journal? I’ve got you! Head on over to my shop HERE and you can have your very own Heal Cook Love journal and pen. Your support on this journey means the world to me.