Flying

I’m at a phase in my life where complete Empty Nesting is extremely close. I have one graduating college in December and moving home for a handful of months before moving into her own place. My other is leaving next year to a 4-year to finish college. For those of you with littles, it’s true what they say – Don’t Blink!

If you would have asked me 10 years ago, this isn’t where I thought I would be at this stage of my life…although please don’t mistake my statement for a complaint. I have zero regrets for the decisions I’ve made and I wouldn’t change a thing. In fact, I feel like I’m in a much better place than I would have been had I stayed the same course with my marriage. I feel the same about my children – I’m not speaking for them, this is just my take on the situation. I’m often asked, do you wish you would have left sooner, etc….nope, I wouldn’t change a thing. I think everything happened in the exact timing it was supposed to. I look at my kids and see how they are soaring into adulthood and I continue to find my validation. They are absolutely amazing human beings that I am so proud of. I’m not saying they are perfect, none of us are, but they are just good people with a strong work ethic and pure hearts. And in some regards, the teacher, has become the student – I learn from them every day.

Taking my daughter to school last year was very emotional, even more so knowing what I was coming home to (I will save that story for my book). Let’s just say I was under an enormous amount of stress. My daughter and I are very close and of course I cried when we said our final goodbyes and I boarded my plane to come home. I remember being sad that she wasn’t coming back with me, but also told a friend that I didn’t totally get how incredibly sad some parents get. I was super excited for her. You get to watch your grown up child go after what they want. My overwhelming feeling of happiness and excitement for her, far outweighed being sad not seeing her every day. I’m not throwing stones or judging here, this is just my experience.

Look, my opinion may not be the popular one…just trying to offer some perspective. I think that parents tend to get way too involved in their children’s lives. We need to let them fly and make ‘mistakes’ (or as I like to refer to them as lessons). If we, as parents, continue to guide and protect them from what we feel may be the wrong decision, what will happen when they DO have to face the real world and face adversity? If we keep navigating their life for them, we haven’t equipped them with those tools…we’ve robbed them of that. Do you remember how many times YOU fell on your face in your teens and 20’s? I remember a call not too long ago with my daughter and she said ‘Mom, I don’t need you, I just want you’…my heart completely melted. THAT is what we are after here. We don’t want our children to need us, at least I don’t. I want them to be strong and independent individuals, but I sure want them to WANT me in their lives and involved in their beautiful journey. Something to ponder…what if in these years we poured into ourselves as much as we have poured into our children?

I’m personally loving this phase of my kids’ life AND mine. We ALL need to be flying more…spreading our wings on a quest for what is for our highest and best good. Give an opinion, IF they ask, but gosh – let them go. I’m not saying I don’t miss my children being around more often, but there is something so incredibly magical about watching them find their way through life. Our job is to raise them, give them good values and be good people, the rest is up to them. Rest assured they will call for your opinion, money, a good cry…the list goes on, and that is when we listen to them and support them the best we can. Please don’t try and live through them or compare experiences (I catch myself with this one…’when I was starving and trying to support myself…blah, blah blah’). Hey, I’m a work in progress too and currently living through this experience. I’m far from perfect but can confidently say that I’m a dang good Mom and have given my kids’ some great tools to go make their mark on this world. I’m sure you are a good parent too, you just don’t give yourself enough credit. I believe the vast majority of us do the best we can with the tools we have…and when you know better, DO BETTER.

I would like to leave you with this thought: Please do NOT beat yourself up about coulda, shoulda, woulda…make the best of whatever phase you are in RIGHT now. You can’t go back in time and do things different, if you want to change the way you are doing things, then change the way you are doing things. Are you in a crying baby, no sleep phase…this too shall pass and your baby will be running around in no time NOT wanting you to pick them up. Are you in crazy school, sport, activity mode…I promise you will miss the crazy. Savor it, lean into it and make it fun. So many phases in life, whether you have children or not. Above all, for goodness sake PUT YOUR PHONES DOWN and spend time with the ones you love, play games, go on walks…cherish the time you have together. It truly goes by so fast.

You’re gonna miss this. You’re gonna want this back. You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast. ~Lyrics by Trace Adkins

Perhaps I will revisit this topic when both of my children have completely moved out. I’m not there yet and savoring as much of this time with my son as I can. Have a beautiful week. Need menu/recipe ideas? I just posted my menu for the week HERE. Want more ideas, just shoot me a message. I really love all of the messages and comments you all send. Permission to buy yourself flowers and be kind to yourself.