Why oh why is there so much comparison going on? No two people, situations or outcomes are EVER the same. So why do we do this to ourselves and others? Let’s stop the comparison game…TODAY! Who’s with me?
Social media doesn’t help this situation at all. You see what people WANT you to see. Drink this and you will look like a super model. My family is picture perfect – look, the picture proves it. Invest in this and you will be a millionaire. Let’s be honest…nothing ever worth it is easy – good health, marriage/children/family life and earning a living. Life is digging in the trenches and doing the work and gosh, that is part of the beauty. The beauty is in the journey of life and all the trials and tribulations in between. After all, it’s that hard work to get to where YOU want (not where someone else is or wants you to be), that is where all the lessons are. You need to struggle and try different things to see what works and what doesn’t. BUT, life is not a one-size fits all type of situation. What works for you may not work for someone else…even if your situations appear to be similar. They just aren’t and that is OK.
Not only do we, as humans, compare ourselves and our journey to others…we try to compare our situations with others. Please stop doing this. My divorce is not like yours, and that is OK. My childhood was not like yours, and that is OK. My injury is not like yours, and that is OK. My child isn’t the same as yours, and that is OK. I could go on and on. You definitely cannot understand and/or have empathy surrounding a situation until you have gone something similar…I understand that whole heartedly – however, don’t rob the other person of their experience.
So please guys, let’s stop this toxic comparison game. Yes, even the ‘I used to be more fit in my 20’s’…uhhhhh, you aren’t in your 20’s. Stop comparing yourself with yourself. How about, if you want to change something about yourself, then do it. There truly isn’t a magic formula or pill (FYI…Jack and the Beanstalk isn’t real). Quite honestly, who gives a hoot what you looked like in your younger years – that isn’t your present. Embrace and love who you are RIGHT NOW! In order to get what you want, mentally, physically, professional and personally…YOU NEED TO PUT IN THE WORK! You are a unique creation and you should treat yourself as such.
Ha – that was a good one…pizza is delicious and so are YOU. Please make me a promise to stop with the comparing. Just DO YOU and be proud of yourself where you are in this exact moment. Who cares what Judy next door is doing or Bob on Instagram – what are YOU doing? Are you doing things that bring you closer to your goals and dreams? Please don’t forget to get yourself some fresh flowers to bring you a little joy. As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others. Cheers!
Yes, we all wish for more time in a day. News flash – that is not going to happen. Do you truly ever stop to think about how you spend your days, your hours…your minutes? Do you spend your time doing the things you want and need to do OR do you say ‘I don’t have time’? Think about it and get real honest with yourself. I’m calling myself out as I type this. Someone posted the image below and it REALLY resonated with me.
Gosh that above statement is SO powerful! The issue isn’t time…it’s what you’re choosing to value. Wowzer! Where are you placing your value? We all have dreams and goals and shoot, some of us are in the throws of complete madness and I get it. I’ve been right there with you in the throws of madness – juggling young children, working full time, sports Mom, living in survival mode for far too long in my marriage and oh ya, everyone needs to eat dinner too…I totally get it! I’m in an interesting position to be able to reflect on ALL of that. I can say that I did a decent job of managing my time, but definitely didn’t put my focus on ALL the things I really wanted to or should have. No need to dwell on the past, but we can change our present…our future.
I was just reminded my someone very special in my life to be more present. I feel like we all need that constant reminder. With this ACL surgery recovery I’m going through, I can get down on myself in an instant – it’s very easy to do when you are limited and trying so hard to get back to good. However, this is a reminder to all of you to surround yourself with good people to give you those little reminders you need. No matter what kind of day you are having, perhaps you are being tested and are burning the candle at both ends or perhaps you are having the time of your life. Repeat after me – Today is my favorite day!
In the last two months, I keep going back to the same phrase – Live like you have no choice. It might sound morbid or harsh, but really…what if you lived every moment of your day like it was your last. You would make the most of every single second. Put your phones down and focus ya’ll – your time is so incredibly valuable. I’m here to remind you AND myself to stop making excuses and make time for what matters! Be on a quest to find that balance between being present and chasing your dreams. Love yourself a little harder and make sure you make time for YOU too – VERY important!
Don’t forget to fill your space with some fresh flowers, any way you can get them – pick them, buy them, tell someone you love flowers (sometimes people need a hint). These gorgeous flowers were from my work party and they are changing every day. I’m not a rose girl and these are perfect! As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others. Cheers!
I find it fitting for the start of a month to talk about permission. This word and act keep coming up in various ways in my life. It seems like ever since we were tiny humans we needed permission – can I go outside and play, can I go on a field trip, my friend hurt my feelings – is it OK to cry, can I jump off the jungle gym, I made the team and my friend didn’t – can I be happy about it…I think you get the point.
I’ve been looking at permission in an entirely different light lately. Last week, I got permission from my doctor to do more activity. I explained it to someone as a newfound freedom, yet feeling like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. It’s interesting, my body is capable of doing things, but not until I received permission was I ‘able’ to do it. You can lift more weight, OK…I added weight at the gym the next day. You can ride the bike longer…poof, I rode the bike longer. I just found it so interesting that I needed permission that it was OK. I guess medically I do, but it just made me do a deep dive – SHOCKER!
This whole experience teaches me new lessons every day. I’m continually reminded how very powerful our mind is. It believes what we tell it and if our bodies have been through trauma of any kind, our mind and body go into protection mode. We need to override this! For example, after surgery, my first attempt at the stairs scared the crap out of me. I would shuffle up/down – never stepping with my weak foot first. It wasn’t until I literally TOLD myself OUT LOUD…’you can do this’. I’m not kidding. My body physically wouldn’t take the step, it was like my mind needed permission. I did it, hurt like crazy, but I did it…AND it got easier with every step. It was truly an odd experience. I shared this silly epiphany with my physical therapist and he said we truly have to retrain our our brain. More I CAN and not I CAN’T! We truly have the power within us.
So let’s work on giving ourselves all kinds of permission…we are in control of US. Permission to do whatever the heck you want, but first YOU need to allow your mind and body to do what you actually want it to do. It’s not easy, I’m not going to sugar coat it… BUT the payoff of taking control of your mind of giving yourself permission to live the life you truly want to live, is so incredibly rewarding and beautiful! Go take that bubble bath, plan that trip, don’t hang out with that person that drains your energy battery…ask for a helping hand.
Permission to love the heck out of yourself this month. Start NOW, a fresh new month with full permission to do YOU – and don’t you dare apologize for it. Remember, this takes work…but you are worth it. Permission to go buy yourself a flower bouquet to remind yourself to stay present and enjoy the growth and beauty of a flower. As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference. Cheers!
I’ve missed a few blog entries, as I was busy being present and fully submerging myself into a weekend of celebration as my first born graduated college. My Mother’s Day was spent traveling back home with my kiddos and I wouldn’t have wanted to spend it any other way. My son treated me to pizza on our way home and my heart completed melted. I’ve learned through the years that EVERY Mother’s Day looks different and that is…well, Motherhood.
I’ve had the pleasure of raising two beautiful children that are just good people. Is being a Mom easy – heck no. It’s a mixture of love…so much love, fear, chaos, excitement, stress, snot, barf, milestones, sleepless nights, confusion, questioning yourself, pride…I could go on and on…you name it, we’ve felt it. But the biggest emotion of all is love. The love for a child that has grown inside your body is unexplainable. The pride you feel when they start walking to graduating college is a heart bursting kind of feeling. Being a Mom is simply the absolute BEST!
As I was scrolling through Facebook and looking at all of the beautiful pictures from everyone’s Mother’s Day. I can’t help but think that this is also a really tough day for some. Being a mom is the most beautiful and rewarding position I have ever held in life . And, having an amazing mother is also such an incredible blessing. Not everyone has those same sentiments and here’s what I have to say to all of you…
To the Mother’s-to-be…what a blessing to be pregnant with the most beautiful gift. Start cherishing even the morning sickness, as you grow that miracle inside of you.
To the Mothers of littles…just smile and enjoy the ride. Sleep when you can, no one will notice the dust on your baseboards. If they ask you to play a silly game, play in the puddles or read them a book, the answer is always yes.
To the Mothers of teens…you blinked and now you are looking like a deer in headlights. Parenting pre-teens/teens is a full time job in itself. Try not to react to the crazy that will happen and keep your communication open. Most of all, give yourself some grace and hold onto those really good days…you know the ones where you get more than 5 words out of them!
To the Mothers of high school seniors…take it ALL in and let them go. Watching your children fly is one of the most beautiful things – don’t clip their wings.
To the Mothers of adult children…you are badasses!! You made it to the finish line. Enjoy the fruits of your labors and when they do something super cool, smile with great pride.
To the Mothers who have lost children…an enormous hug to all of you. I don’t have the proper words and I’m not going to try. I’m truly just sending so much love, strength and continued support your way.
To those that have a strained relationship with their Mother…you are an incredible human being – her loss.
To the children (big and small) who have lost their Mothers… I can’t pretend to know how that feels. My heart aches for you. Close your eyes and think of the most beautiful memory of her and know that she lives within you.
To the stay-at-home Mom’s and full-time working Mom’s…the internal and external juggle is real. You are truly doing the job of multiple people all while trying to hold it together. Permission to break here and there. You are human and the overwhelm of doing ALL the things is hard. Please remember to schedule time just for YOU – you can’t pour from an empty cup.
To all the Mother’s and children who don’t feel they fit in a category above…have gratitude for those that have been a Mother figure to you. And above all, give some extra love to your Mother’s, Aunt’s, Godmother’s, Step-Mother’s…and your children, for they gave you the precious gift of Motherhood.
So, a heartfelt happy belated Mother’s Day to all of you mothers out there. Please remember that Facebook is a 30 second glimpse into someone’s day/life. Please do not compare yourself or your journey with anyone else else’s, because again…it’s a glimpse. However you celebrated yourself and your loved ones, is beautiful in its own right. If by chance you did not feel celebrated, I’m giving you a huge hug from afar and telling you that being a Mom is very tough and sometimes thankless but man oh man, is it so worth the ride!
Please don’t save honoring yourself just for Mother’s Day. Will you always get it right, nope…but there is also beauty in that. There is no ‘perfect’ motherhood and/or childhood. There is just your journey and it is messy and beautiful all at the same time – honor THAT. Don’t forget to buy yourself flowers and take in all their beauty, as you should take in your own. As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference. Cheers!
Have you laughed lately…like, really belly laughed? Do you ever look in the mirror and smile? Yes, actually smiled at yourself. Well, you should! I was reminded by an amazing person in my life that I don’t always need to be so serious on my blog – so let’s chat about laughter.
6 years ago, I was anxiously awaiting back surgery. I had been down since January, flat on my back in an incredible amount of pain. The pain pills (and there were too many of them) just took the edge off. It was a brutal 4 months. I had major cabin fever and was in and out of doctors’ offices and was just in constant pain. I walked out of my doctor’s office (my primary doctor is AMAZING, by the way) one day with post-visit instructions to read funny books and watch funny comedy movies. I read it in front of her and said, really – what is this? She was serious. She told me that I didn’t seem to be in the best head space and needed some happiness and laughter to help boost my mood. Crazy enough, I did what she asked me to do and it actually helped my spirits. These are some of my all-time favorites…
If you really think about it, laughter and smiling is truly therapeutic. I meditate in the morning and a few of my guided meditations start with telling me to smile. There are scientific benefits behind laughter and even smiling.
So, my assignment to you…find something to smile about throughout your day. Unfollow negativity on social media and follow folks that are uplifting and add quality to your life. Remember that your mind believes what you tell it – you have control of this. I love watching sweet dog videos, they make me giggle. Be honest, you could be in a real crappy mood, but if you watch funny animal videos, you could get an instant mood boost. Here are some other ideas…
Ironic that I had most of this blog written and then last night I was in the car with my daughter and her boyfriend and my best friend called. We laughed uncontrollably for 40 minutes. We did that silent wheezing type of laughter that just makes you laugh harder when you hear it. I swear, I almost popped a contact. We needed that – just a really light conversation filled with SO much laughter.
These photos of me, make me smile when I look at them. This is joy and laughter in a photo. I know who I was with, who makes me very happy, and just look at my surroundings, who wouldn’t smile. Go surround yourself with those that lift you highter, find the joy in your life and laugh more. We do tend to take life a tad too serious sometimes. Go buy yourself some flowers, as that is sure to bring a smile to your face. As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference. Cheers!
I swear, I say this so often these days…you just don’t know how something feels until you experience it. Period. You can try to understand, but you just can’t…you need to live it and breathe it to totally get it. Even then, your experience is different then the next person, but you have a better perspective on how it truly FEELS.
My daughter not only celebrated a birthday this last weekend, but she also moved into her official first place. They found the cutest house to rent and they are all gleaming (the dog too) with pride in their new digs. As her Mom, I am elated with joy and so very excited for this stage in her life…and mine too.
It’s weird, I think we refer to empty nesting when our kids leave for college but that isn’t really it. That just prepares you for the big leave. My daughter has moved out two times previously – one time locally to attend our local junior college and then out of state to finish college (she lived in a dorm and apartment there). So, yes, she has ‘moved out’ before, but this is the BIG one. This is the ‘she’s not coming back’ move. And crazy enough, I’m OK with it.
I truly took a day for myself on Sunday. My body AND mind needed it. I was upset that I couldn’t just blow through my place and get it spic and span, I have temporary physical limitations right now. Instead, I focused on what I COULD do. I would go from room to room and tidy/cook/rest. I made a little game out of it. When I rested, I was either writing or just thinking. I wasn’t sad for my girl moving out, I had this overwhelming feeling of peace and happiness. This is what SHE wanted and this is what happens in this phase of life. I had a bit of guilt for feeling so free and not feeling sad. It’s the oddest feeling…it’s like I made it to the finish line and have this incredible sense of pride and joy for my child. Will I miss not seeing her as often, 100%, but that just makes the time we will spend together that much more special. Bring on new memories!
Some of you want your kiddos to never leave and I’m not judging anyone here. I’m just giving a little perspective. I recently had this realization that my #1 and job I’m most proud of for the last 23 years is MOM. I have given my blood, sweat and tears to try and be the best Mom and role model I could be. Am I perfect, far from it…but I wear that badge with pride. It’s now MY turn. It’s my turn to put ME first. My children have and will always be my number one, but I need to teach myself how to put me first, and not feel bad about it. This is a beautiful stage in life. It’s the time to sit back and watch all of the fruits of your labor truly LIVE their best life.
Last October, I posted a Blog entitled Flying (you can read it HERE). As I started typing this blog I thought, I swear I’ve written about this. As I re-read that blog, I still feel the same…but different. I absolutely LOVE watching my kids’ in this phase of life. They are figuring things out and although at times I’d like to insert my commentary, I’m really trying to LET THEM (Thank you Mel Robbins). Her book ‘Let Them’ has really given me more enlightenment to let them do what they need and want to do. There are no failures in life, only lessons.
My son has been out of town and it’s been weird coming home to a completely empty place – no extra mouths to feed, no dog, very little mess to clean…it’s just weird. Although my son comes home soon, and I cannot wait to give him a big ole hug! He will be taking off soon to college and I feel confident that I have given both of my kiddos all the tools to live a peaceful, happy and abundant life. I’ve done my job. Will I ever stop being their Mom and do Mom things – heck no…but I’m going to embrace this friendship phase with them. They are pretty dang awesome human beings and I know they are destined for great things, things that truly make their hearts happy. And, I’m going to embrace ME. I’m not afraid to get older, I’m not afraid of what the future holds, I’m damn excited! I feel very free. Life is what you make it and I’m intrigued about this chapter in my life and I’m not going to apologize for it!
And then, poof, as I’m finishing this blog, I get a little dose of complete validation of my feelings. I got a facetime call from my daughter giving me a tour of what she’s done with the place since the weekend. She had a smile plastered on her face the entire time. There it is, joy all over again. Big changes that I’m embracing. It’s interesting when you have this vision of where you think you’d be at this phase of your life – this wasn’t what I envisioned. However, I couldn’t imagine anything different. I’m letting life unfold, focusing on me and watching my kiddos soar and it’s truly beautiful.
Hey Parents – I’m giving you permission to feel whatever feelings you have and be proud of where your kids are, at whatever stage. Support them, love them…but let them be too. There is so much power in allowing them to figure things out on their own, and it’s magical to experience. Go get yourself some flowers to brighten up a room in your place. As always, thank you for being on this journey with me – together we can make a difference. Cheers!
Do you believe in the power of prayer? I’ve learned through the years that there are many different ways to believe in something higher than yourself. I personally believe in God, but know not everyone does. I’m not here to judge, preach or convert anyone – just looking for some extra good vibes, positive energy, prayers…whatever that looks like for you.
I don’t know about you, but this has been the longest year, and it’s just the beginning of March. I know WAY too many people that are just going through it – you name it, and I know someone going through it. If you have it in you, I would appreciate HUGE prayers for everyone I know. I typically don’t have specific prayers for things I ‘want’. My typical nightly prayer is to pray for good health for my family and friends and to serve up for me what is for my highest and best good. The remainder of my prayer is simply gratitude, as I am incredibly grateful. As I was just reminder by my neighbor last week, if you woke up today, it’s a good day!
In turn, should YOU be in need of some additional prayers or good thoughts your way, please shoot me a message and I will add you to my prayers. I’m a firm believer in the power of prayer and positive energy. I just finished such a powerful book that I’ve talked about before – The Secret to Love Health & Money. It is basically the law of attraction…our thoughts become our reality. For instance, you don’t want to say ‘please don’t let me get sick’, you are then putting sickness in the universe. Instead, say ‘please help me to stay in good strong health’. You see the difference? Create space for that positive energy for you and those around you.
In writing this post, I have some additional gratitude and that is to a dear friend of mine that truly re-introduced me to prayer. She is proof of strong belief and prayer. Her and her husband recently started a new business and I can’t help but think that the big man upstairs played and continues to play a major role in their journey. I might as well give her a shoutout, as they are doing BIG things. Their business is called Special Strong. I encourage you to check them out – such a positive impact on the community and so many lives! Thank you to my friend for her beautiful presence in my life and for being there for me in BIG ways on this wild journey of life.
As always, I so appreciate you being with me in my journey AND I very much appreciate you sharing your journey with me – we can all get through this life together by sharing our stories of hope and strength. This post is about believing in something bigger than ourselves. I have had many powerful spiritual moments in my life and thank you in advance for holding my family and friends in your prayers and good thoughts. It truly takes a village and a community to live an abundant life and I’m grateful for mine. Please don’t forget to buy yourself flowers or remind those around you that you deserve beautiful flowers. I have been looking at these happy flowers I received last week – flowers have a way of just making you smile. Cheers to a magical week!
Do you ever take the time to reflect on your story? I mean, we all have one. To some degree, I’m sure we have all had mountains to climb and obstacles to overcome. There are beautiful pieces, parts you possibly want to forget – all of it makes you who you are today. Do you ever truly sit and honor yourself for how far you’ve come and take the time to relish in your successes, completely reflect on your life? I can answer that for you – probably not. We are all too busy to sit and reflect. Well, today, I’d like to give you permission to do exactly that. It’s your turn to be proud of yourself for wherever you are in your life story – give yourself some love.
I’m fully aware that not everyone is as forthcoming with their story as I am, but let me tell you how liberating it is to acknowledge where you’ve been, where you are now and where you want to be. My story has all sorts of twists and turns and I’m at a point in my life where I am proud of my story and the person that I am today. I don’t have any regrets as I truly believe in divine timing. Am I still on a healing journey, absolutely. I believe we are forever healing as human beings…but I strive to be better every day. I’m far from done with my story and am excited about the upcoming chapters in my life. I want you too to get excited about life, even if you are in the thick of some tough times…you WILL get on the other side of it. You have a purpose on this earth…you have a story and the most beautiful thing about it, YOU ARE THE AUTHOR!
Here’s the other side to this, as I’m all about perspective these days. Do you realize that everyone you walk among has a story too? I would like to repeat that – EVERYONE has a story, you aren’t the only one. We don’t walk around with a shirt on that says ‘I’m dealing with some heavy stuff’, ‘my kids are driving me insane’, ‘my spouse and I are struggling’, ‘I just got fired’…I think you get the idea. Have a little empathy. That car that cut you off, the person that was rude at the grocery store or a co-worker that may seem a little off – perhaps THEY are in a rough chapter of their story. My point…we ALL are living and breathing our stories and life can just be hard sometimes. Let’s have a little compassion for one another. I know that I’m an open book, I’d tell my life story to a stranger, if I thought it would help them with what they are going through. Shoot, here I am sharing my life with all of you. Not everyone is like that and I’m fully aware of that. Sharing your story with others could not only save them, but it could save YOU too.
Here’s a little reminder for you…you cannot go backwards. So please do not live with regret and wishing you would have done something different. Stop beating yourself up. When I used to go down that path, I had someone tell me that ‘you did the best with what you had to work with’. I believe that is true for most all of us. As humans, we aren’t trying to do the wrong thing. So, let’s make a pact…no going backwards, move forward every day – even if they are the tiniest of steps. If you don’t like the way your story is going – turn the page, make a change. Again, YOU ARE THE AUTHOR! Give yourself and those around you grace. Smile at a stranger – that one smile or kind words you speak to them may be the turning point in someone else’s story.
Go buy yourself some flowers and do something that brings your heart joy. I reminded you to do this a few weeks back, write a letter to a friend or family member…or even write a letter to your younger or future self – powerful stuff, try it. As always, thanks for being here with me on this beautiful and sometimes wildly crazy story of life.
Do you have good friends? Are you a good friend? I mean, do you ever ask yourself this question? What does friendship mean to you? Let’s chat about it…
So, if you keep up with my blog, you will know that I’ve had some rough patches in my life…more over the last 5 years than I care to think about. Recently, I was really struggling and I had a knock on my door after my one friend found out what I was going through. It was her son, as she lives far away, he was dropping off Panera to me – salad, soup and cookies. He asked if he could give me a hug and said ‘I hope that what you are going through gets better’. Well, I thought I was getting a hold of my emotions but nope…that sent me right over the edge again. It immediately made me want to ‘up’ my friend game. I told my friend that I truly strive to be a friend like her. She is truly one of the most thoughtful and beautiful humans I know. We can all take a page out of her book. AND, can I please acknowledge what an amazing human she raised…I mean Wow!
Taking my recent situation to a different level…I was very quiet and shut everyone out the first handful of days. I was really trying to process what I was going through. I didn’t want to be greeted that next week with ‘how was your amazing long weekend with your boyfriend’ comments, so I decided to head it off at the pass. I did reach out and let a handful of close friends know what was going on, I was very brief and just said that I wasn’t ready to talk about it. EVERY SINGLE ONE of them replied with they love me and are there for me when I’m ready. BEST RESPONSE EVER! No prying, just respecting my wishes. THIS is true friendship.
I’m extremely fortunate to have a group of friends that have been in my life since junior high/high school days – we are talking over 35 years of memories, laughter, tears, births, deaths, divorce and love…SO much love! We don’t talk every day, but I tell you what, if one of us needed something we would rush to their side. We try our best to at least plan an annual trip. I’d do anything for these girls! Fun fact, I went to kindergarten with one of these friends and we were reunited again in junior high – lucky me.
1991 – I love that I’m the only one not looking at the right camera. Sorry girls, I couldn’t resist this gem of a picture.
These weren’t my only friends from high school I keep in contact with, I have some other great friends that I still connect with once and a while – definitely wish it was more often. I was lucky to have gone from elementary all the way through high school with quite a few people too. Facebook is good for some things and I love watching their lives unfold. I have an overwhelming amount of cherished memories with so many beautiful people – I’m a lucky girl.
Then there are those friends that you’ve met in the workplace. Shoot, we are at work more than we are at home and I’ve made some solid friendships at work. All of my friends went away to college. I tried that for a little less than a year and got into the workforce. I’ve been working a fulltime job since I was 19. I’ve had some awesome co-workers through the years and really fond memories. I’m grateful for those relationships and all the wisdom shared over the years. Two of my dearest friends are my co-workers and I couldn’t imagine going through the last 10 plus years without them by my side.
You also have your ‘Mom’ friends or the friends you’ve met along the way through your kids. These are special kind of friendships. Even if our kids don’t stay in contact, us Mom’s have a special bond. We shared so much of our lives together at school functions, Brownie’s, soccer practice, carpools, coffee dates, etc. We were in the throws of parenthood together and I don’t think I would have come out of it the same without those relationships. Shoot, one of my closest friends is my daughter’s ex-boyfriend’s Mom (Yep, you read that right). We got each other in their break-up and I’m so very grateful.
Lastly, you have your family that have turned into friends and vice versa. You know, the older you get, your Mom will still be your Mom, but she will also be one of your best friends too. Your family can definitely be part of your friendship circle (or not) – you get to make this choice. There are those special kind of friends that have been around so long, they are like family. I have a friend that I’ve known since high school that will spend the holidays with us from time to time and it makes my heart so happy – she is a beautiful friend, yet also like family.
Dear Friends, I ALWAYS have 12 minutes for you!
So, I will ask the question again – are you a good friend? Are you the type of friend that YOU would want to be friends with? It’s OK if you are lacking a bit in this department, I’m not here to judge…just to remind you about what I think is important in life. I’m truly blessed to have met some really cool people in my lifetime and I don’t take those friendships for granted. 100%, I would not be where I am today with my friends! I’d say one of the biggest bummers is that there just isn’t enough time to see everyone I want to see as often as I’d like to see them. Let’s make a pact to just strive to be better – better to ourselves and those around us. Nourish the relationships in your life, water those gardens and definitely don’t take them for granted. Go buy yourself some flowers and smile. It’s a good day to have a good day!
Perhaps these two words don’t go hand in hand for you. By the end of this blog, I hope we can change that. First of all, birthdays shouldn’t be taken lightly. This is the most important day of your life – YOU were brought into this world, it’s the day you were born! If you haven’t figured out WHY you are here yet, perhaps you need to go on a self discovery journey – that’s a whole other blog topic. What I can assure you, is you are meant to be on this earth and you deserve to be celebrated. Birthday’s are a big deal!
Let me set the table for you. As a child, birthdays were always a beautiful celebration – my Mom made sure of it. Again, I realize this isn’t everyone’s reality…however, I’d like to help make it your NEW reality. If you don’t have good birthday memories, I’m sorry. Please give that younger self of you a huge hug and here is your sign to break the cycle. Stay with me here. As a mother, I always made sure my kids’ felt very celebrated, in the way they wanted. We would have a party (I was just reflecting with my son, I definitely put together some super cool parties for my kiddos), they would always get a special dinner, that I would make WHATEVER they wanted. We would also have a family celebration. Again, I think birthdays are a tad like Christmas – we are celebrating the birth of someone VERY important – YOU!
Flash forward to this week, I was laying in bed early in the morning on my birthday. I was kinda bummed, as I didn’t have anything planned to celebrate. Plus, I was coming off of two years with BIG celebrations. Last year was the big 5-0 and I felt like I was celebrated for a week. The year before that, my high school girlfriends and I did a big 50th celebration for all of us in Mexico. So, I needed to step back into birthday reality. I live with my adult children and they have busy lives. I was feeling lonely and not looking forward to the day. I walked out of my bedroom door and was greeted with balloon arches and a decorated kitchen. Instant tears! In that moment, I felt so special and celebrated. It instantly turned my mood around. I had a pep in my step (my lovely little current gimpy step…but nonetheless, a pep)!
I headed to work and was showered with calls, texts and messages throughout my day. It’s funny, I know that Facebook reminds you when people have a birthday, but it was different for me this year. EVERY single person that wished me a happy birthday, brought a smile to my face. I thought of a funny story or how long I’ve know that person, etc. It brought me so much happiness. The gifts were thoughtful and so generous. The cards made me cry (shocker…I’m an emotional person) and it was just a feel good day.
Which brings me to part two of this blog…happiness. I started my morning a little in the dumps and was instantly transported to happiness. I sat in that ALL day – what truly makes us happy? Well, the people we surround ourselves with, is an obvious one. But, what happens when you are with yourself and in your own feelings – we need to have happiness for ourselves by ourselves. Others can contribute to our happiness, but happiness is truly an inside job. I took this thought one step further. What colors make me happy, smells, foods, songs, words, pictures, movies, sayings…the list goes on. What brings you joy?
I loved this fun little list I found online. I have an assignment for you – let’s make a HAPPY list. Here’s why I’m making myself a HAPPY list…because not all days are good days. That is just reality. We tend to dwell on negative or unpleasant situations…why can’t we reverse this and dwell on our happy. Permission to be happy, even when you may be in a crappy situation. For instance, if we are sad or possibly dealing with depression, we perhaps reach out to a therapist. However, when that sadness goes away, we don’t feel like we need help anymore. I’ve personally done this. I used to go to Alanon meetings (a support group for families that are dealing with alcoholism, in case you didn’t know). I would sometimes not want to attend because I was having a good week. Fun fact, THOSE were the weeks that I got the most out of our meeting. I just blogged about ‘showing up’…well, this is yet another way for us to show up for ourselves! Who’s with me – who’s making a list to keep handy that focuses on what brings you happiness and joy? Gosh, what a great tool to help pull us out of a bad day too. I’m excited about this…[literally writing down things that make me happy as I’m typing this].
SO, first of all, if you aren’t big into birthday celebrations, I’m not going to force this on you…BUT, YOU ARE WORTH CELEBRATING!! I have friends that celebrate all month for their birthdays and I’m not mad about it. Shoot, I did something to celebrate EVERY month last year, since it was a big birthday. Complete permission to throw yourself a party if someone else isn’t. Make the day you came into this world a big deal and don’t you dare apologize for it. Secondly, if you have an opportunity to make someone else feel special on their birthday – DO IT! A message, call, card…an acknowledgement that they are special and what they mean to you is so meaningful. How do you feel when someone calls and sings you Happy Birthday or drops a card in the mail – time to pay it forward. We all deserve to feel special. Let’s focus on our happy and making others feel special. Just so you know, another mood enhancer is bringing someone else joy…in turn, that will boost your happy.
I’m excited about 51 – I’ve got some big dreams and am really diving into what I’m calling this second chapter in life. It’s scary, exciting, eventful, full of risks, failures, lessons, continual healing and so incredibly rewarding. Permission to buy yourself flowers and show yourself some well-deserved love. Cheers to being born and choosing happiness. Now go make that happy list!
