Birthdays and Happiness

Perhaps these two words don’t go hand in hand for you. By the end of this blog, I hope we can change that. First of all, birthdays shouldn’t be taken lightly. This is the most important day of your life – YOU were brought into this world, it’s the day you were born! If you haven’t figured out WHY you are here yet, perhaps you need to go on a self discovery journey – that’s a whole other blog topic. What I can assure you, is you are meant to be on this earth and you deserve to be celebrated. Birthday’s are a big deal!

Let me set the table for you. As a child, birthdays were always a beautiful celebration – my Mom made sure of it. Again, I realize this isn’t everyone’s reality…however, I’d like to help make it your NEW reality. If you don’t have good birthday memories, I’m sorry. Please give that younger self of you a huge hug and here is your sign to break the cycle. Stay with me here. As a mother, I always made sure my kids’ felt very celebrated, in the way they wanted. We would have a party (I was just reflecting with my son, I definitely put together some super cool parties for my kiddos), they would always get a special dinner, that I would make WHATEVER they wanted. We would also have a family celebration. Again, I think birthdays are a tad like Christmas – we are celebrating the birth of someone VERY important – YOU!

Flash forward to this week, I was laying in bed early in the morning on my birthday. I was kinda bummed, as I didn’t have anything planned to celebrate. Plus, I was coming off of two years with BIG celebrations. Last year was the big 5-0 and I felt like I was celebrated for a week. The year before that, my high school girlfriends and I did a big 50th celebration for all of us in Mexico. So, I needed to step back into birthday reality. I live with my adult children and they have busy lives. I was feeling lonely and not looking forward to the day. I walked out of my bedroom door and was greeted with balloon arches and a decorated kitchen. Instant tears! In that moment, I felt so special and celebrated. It instantly turned my mood around. I had a pep in my step (my lovely little current gimpy step…but nonetheless, a pep)!

I headed to work and was showered with calls, texts and messages throughout my day. It’s funny, I know that Facebook reminds you when people have a birthday, but it was different for me this year. EVERY single person that wished me a happy birthday, brought a smile to my face. I thought of a funny story or how long I’ve know that person, etc. It brought me so much happiness. The gifts were thoughtful and so generous. The cards made me cry (shocker…I’m an emotional person) and it was just a feel good day.

Which brings me to part two of this blog…happiness. I started my morning a little in the dumps and was instantly transported to happiness. I sat in that ALL day – what truly makes us happy? Well, the people we surround ourselves with, is an obvious one. But, what happens when you are with yourself and in your own feelings – we need to have happiness for ourselves by ourselves. Others can contribute to our happiness, but happiness is truly an inside job. I took this thought one step further. What colors make me happy, smells, foods, songs, words, pictures, movies, sayings…the list goes on. What brings you joy?

I loved this fun little list I found online. I have an assignment for you – let’s make a HAPPY list. Here’s why I’m making myself a HAPPY list…because not all days are good days. That is just reality. We tend to dwell on negative or unpleasant situations…why can’t we reverse this and dwell on our happy. Permission to be happy, even when you may be in a crappy situation. For instance, if we are sad or possibly dealing with depression, we perhaps reach out to a therapist. However, when that sadness goes away, we don’t feel like we need help anymore. I’ve personally done this. I used to go to Alanon meetings (a support group for families that are dealing with alcoholism, in case you didn’t know). I would sometimes not want to attend because I was having a good week. Fun fact, THOSE were the weeks that I got the most out of our meeting. I just blogged about ‘showing up’…well, this is yet another way for us to show up for ourselves! Who’s with me – who’s making a list to keep handy that focuses on what brings you happiness and joy? Gosh, what a great tool to help pull us out of a bad day too. I’m excited about this…[literally writing down things that make me happy as I’m typing this].

SO, first of all, if you aren’t big into birthday celebrations, I’m not going to force this on you…BUT, YOU ARE WORTH CELEBRATING!! I have friends that celebrate all month for their birthdays and I’m not mad about it. Shoot, I did something to celebrate EVERY month last year, since it was a big birthday. Complete permission to throw yourself a party if someone else isn’t. Make the day you came into this world a big deal and don’t you dare apologize for it. Secondly, if you have an opportunity to make someone else feel special on their birthday – DO IT! A message, call, card…an acknowledgement that they are special and what they mean to you is so meaningful. How do you feel when someone calls and sings you Happy Birthday or drops a card in the mail – time to pay it forward. We all deserve to feel special. Let’s focus on our happy and making others feel special. Just so you know, another mood enhancer is bringing someone else joy…in turn, that will boost your happy.

I’m excited about 51 – I’ve got some big dreams and am really diving into what I’m calling this second chapter in life. It’s scary, exciting, eventful, full of risks, failures, lessons, continual healing and so incredibly rewarding. Permission to buy yourself flowers and show yourself some well-deserved love. Cheers to being born and choosing happiness. Now go make that happy list!